Originally posted by The Tired Hikerooooo this is gonna be good
Sorry, bud. I won't do it again, I promise. 馃檪Sooooo, after drinking a King Cobra 40 with them, we decided it would be a good idea to go off roading in Zack's Toyota 4X4, white, lifted, and built for the back country, which is where we decided to go, the back country of Ft. Ord, the former military base where my College was built on. You see, in the back country of Ft. Ord, it is very dangerous because there are a lot of unexploded ordinances from when the Army used to train there, years before my school was built; things like land mines, grenades, mortar shellz . . . stuff you don't want to feck with. You might see where this is going . . . . .
AND THEN,
So Zack is driving, Kirat is in the middle, and I'm in the passenger seat. We're driving down the road that goes past our apartment and I decide suddenly that I want to be in the back of the truck. So I climb out the window while Zack is going about forty, and I manuever into the truck bed, where I stand and hang onto the roll bars. Zack decides to speed up right toward a wooden baricade, basically the white and orange striped kind that look like a saw horse. Yeah, so Zack busts right through it, literally shattering it into pieces while I'm hooting and hollaring in the back. Wood flies everywhere, it was sweet .. .
so now we are in some part of the base where we shouldn't be. Zack decides to stop the truck and tells me to get in because we are about to drive off the pavement and into the back country of old Fort Ord. Mind you, this is the place they called, UFO, University Of Fort Ord, granted it was actually called CSUMB, Cal State University Monterey Bay. Also nicknamed, Sea SCUMB. 馃槵
Anyway, Zack veers sharply off the pavement and into the wild. We ride and bump over hills and through bushes and trees, laughing and trying hard not to smash eachother with our heads. We go over several blind hills and around dangerous curves, luckily not crashing into a ditch or flying off a cliff of destinction. Soooooooo, we stop and Zack lets me drive. 馃槺
So I'm like totally stoked, I never had driven a vehicle off roading until this point. So I punch it and I manage to angle over some impossible hills and other chunks of land. Then there's this thing ahead, it looks like a cliff. I'm going to fast to stop, so Zack says to punch it, so I do. We basically fly off this ridge, it's not a crazy super high ridge or anything, but nonetheless, it was quite a drop, maybe five feet, nose first, and I manage to crack the frame of Zack's truck, as Kirat's head smashes the rear view mirror right off of the ceiling of the truck. We decide to call it quits and Zack takes the wheel and now we are lost. . . .
Anyway, Zack manages to ignore me and Kirat, and he finds the way back to the road that leads to our apartment, I could have sworn it was the wrong way, but it wasn't. So, we get back, we find we have some beers in the garage, so we sit on the roof and drink them while watching the sun come up. That's when I remember, 'Crap, I have to leave in two hours to Colorado! 馃槚
Okay, so I get off the roof, well I practically fall off the roof, and I go to bed still wearing my shoes, which was sweet, because if you ever wake up fully dressed with your shoes on, it's like BAMM, I'm ready to start the day and I haven't even got out of bed yet. So's, I'm totally haggard from partying and my neck is sore from off roading, (luckily we didn't run over any land mines) and I head to San Jose where I meet four of my old school broz at my buddy Jeff's house. We wax our boards, pack ouir crap into two different vehicles, and we head to Colorado. I try to sleep as much as I can, but those bastards keep telling me it's my turn to drive, but I manged.
Originally posted by SlipknoT
馃槅 What year is this?
Dude, this is 1997, I've been snowboarding since 1991.
So, about twelve bong sessions later, we reach colorado. I rode mostly with Jeff since he had the sweet hookups. We get there, we move into our sick ass condo that we rented, mind you we paid 78 dollars each, American, for three nights lodging, two day lift tickets, in a condo that had four bed rooms, each with a full bath, and we lived like kings. So, the night we got there, me and Ken and Jeff go to the bars. Our condo is like three blocks from the downtown area of Crested Butte, so we walk to the bars where we drink and do the herb, and meet many other snow enthusiasts who are super sweet to party with. Then, Jeff is faded, so he walks back to the condo while me and Ken stay out till the bars close and get ultra-hammered. Sooooo, Ken and I are walking back to the condo finally, right?
Originally posted by SlipknoT
Dude thats ****ing awsome
I'm not done yet.
So, me and Ken or, Ken and I, (proper English) start heading back to the sweet condo when I tell Ken that I have to take a huge shit. Ken is like, 'Why don't you just do it in the road?" So, I decide to pull down my pants and squat right there, right in the middle of the road that leads to the condo where I'm surrounded by many other condos and building where anybody can be looking from their balcony or window at my ass taking a dump in the middle of the street. So I finish up, I don't even wipe, but it was cold so the consistancy was solid and there wasn't much to wipe when I got back. The thing was, the terd I let out, it stood straight up, it was classic. When we walked to the lifts the next day down that road, the terd was still frozen in the middle of the road. Cars didn't even run over it yet. It was sweet.
Later that day, Ken and I are in line at some ski lift and this guy in front of us turns to Ken and says, 'Hey, are you that guy who was with some dude who took a crap in the middle of the road?' Ken says, 'Yeah, that was this guy,' and he points to me. The dude then tells us that he could see me taking a dump from his balcony. He even called his friends over and they were all cracking up while I was doing it.
So, there you have it. That's basically the story about how I took a shit in the middle of the road in Crested Butte, Colorado. 馃槵