well in that case:
The skinny guy, the average dude and the big dumb guy are touring through England. All of a sudden they come a cross a amazing castle and decide to take a look inside... There they are welcomed by a noble king, who says; 'Well, you 3 came at a very appropriate moment, since the princess is ready to get engaged, but none of my subjects have met the requirements!'
The king displays his daughter and all 3 fall in love...
'Now I can't just hand my daughter over to any man' the king says, 'so I have a test for you! Now, I'm a big ping-pong fanatic, so the first man who can hand me over one million ping-pong balls can have my daughter as his wife.' 'And to make thinks more exiting: you only have untill midnight today!'
All 3 agree on the test and are off!
The king awaits patiently, untill around half past eleven a castle guard calls: 'Sir, there is a truck at the gate!' It appears to be the skinny guy, with indeed one million ping-pong balls in a truck!
'Amazing!!' the king admits... ''But it isn't midnight yet, let's wait a while....'
And indeed, at 15 minutes to midnight, the average guy arrives at the gate with 2 trucks, caring 1.5 million ping-pong balls!!
'Wwwwwoooow! the king shouts, 'how impressive, but there is one challenger left, lets see'
10 to 12, nothing...
5 till 12, still nothing...
Untill at 1 minute to midnight the gate guard shouts: 'My king! Someone approaches!'
The gates open and in walks the big dumb guy, all beaten up, his clothes ripped to shreds and only a bag on his shoulder...
With great effort the dumb-ass trows the bag at the king's feet and says 'Here... King-Kong Balls....'
This one's my FAV!
The sky was dark,
The moon was high.
All alone,
Just her and I.
Her hair so soft,
Her eyes so blue.
I knew just what,
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine.
I ran my fingers,
Down her spine.
I didn't know how,
But I tried my best.
To place my hand,
On her breasts.
I remember my fear,
My fast beating heart.
But slowly she spread,
Her legs apart.
And when she did it,
I felt no shame.
All at once,
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished,
It's all over now.
My first time,
Milking a cow!
Hmm, you might have spotted this joke before, but if not.....
Some guy is sitting in his yard on a sunny day, reading a book. All of a sudden he hears a strange sound coming out of his large tree in his yard.
He steps closer to investigate and what do you know, there is a big, fierce baboon in that tree, shouting and shaking the branches!
'Just my f*cking luck' the guy thinks and goes inside his house to get the Yellow Pages. After some searching he finds an advertisement from the B.D.U.: The Baboon Disposal Unit.
'Goodie!' the guy says to himself and picks up the phone to call them.
Not even 15 minutes past the call a van labelled 'B.D.U.' parks in front of the guys house and a man in working clothes steps out and rings the doorbell.
Guy opens the door, B.D.U. man announces himself as Hank, from the B.D.U. 'Well, show me the case', Hank says, and the guy leads him to the tree.
'Aaaah, that's a class 3b, I have something for that' Hank swiftly notices and goes back to van, followed by the guy.
Out of the van Hank pulls a net, a club, a little dog and a very big machinegun. 'This will only be a matter of minutes' Hank assures.
'I do like to believe that, but what is the plan?' the guy asks.
'Well' Hank replies, 'The strategy is like this: I'll take this club, climb up in the tree, sneak up to the baboon, hit it across the scull and knock it out of the tree. Then my little doggie there will run to the baboon, bite it in the balls which will paralyze it and then I can fold the baboon in the net and get it to the zoo. Piece of cake!'
'very clever, but what about that big machinegun?' the guys asks curiously...
'Well, that's a safely issue' Hank answers 'Cause there is a chance that the baboon will spot me before I get to hit it out of the tree, and it might knock me down first!'
'In that case' he continues 'You must grab that gun and shoot the dog as soon as possible!!'