Harry had stolen his friend's slightly special new scented candle because of Hermione's need for meditation. If broomsticks could walk he could take them to Hogwarts dungeons so that he doesn't sing. Hagrid is going to eat his dog. Then Professor Dumbledore farted extremely loud so Ron fainted and had them sued. Stupid Malfoy tried to sing opera but miserably failed, while he played accompaniment on Snape's banjo. Meanwhile Hermione threatened Crookshanks cathood. Harry randomly completed beating up neville who bit Hermione for eating Trevor deep fried, Ron wanted his toilet roll shop to entertain Pansy, but she barfed on the House elves and said Hah. Umbridge fired Snape and screamed bloody loud in Elvish decorated expletives. It was almost cute but Peeves shot snot at Flitwick, then he ran into underwear that was moldy and extremely inedible. Giants complained that Snape smelt rancid instead of roses dead with a rat's entrails hanging from his mouth. Gryffindors hate *professor*