Twist On The Ribbons

Twist on the ribbons,
Twirl them round and round,
Yellow, blue and upside down;
Float them, steal them, say their name,
Cherish them, love them, it's all the same;
Superflous decoration on perfect pearls,
Why the ribbon? Why not just pearls?
Too much, more and more, Stop! That's it!
No more for me, I'm feelin sick!
In the end, it's all that's needed...
A shape, a face and a voice to breathe with.

Keats, Byron, Shakespeare, Dante, et al ain't got nuthin on me. Suck it up. Plagiarise me and gain some kudos...I don't mind at all.

Twist on the ribbons,
Twirl them round and round,
Yellow, blue and upside down;

I love the simplicity of your opening lines...full of colour, shape, movement and intrigue. Great start!

Float them, steal them, say their name,
Cherish them, love them, it's all the same;

So insightful! A comment on the consumer age? Bravo!

Superflous decoration on perfect pearls,
Why the ribbon? Why not just pearls?

Such conciseness offers a wonderful contrast to the otherwise pervading vagueness. More! More!

Too much, more and more, Stop! That's it!
No more for me, I'm feelin sick!

Your repulsion is evident in these vitriolic lines, again wonderfully contrasted with an almost playful rhyming scheme! Encore!

In the end, it's all that's needed...
A shape, a face and a voice to breathe with.

Ahh...The truth lies in the beauty, eh wot? A nod to Keats in a poem he would have been proud to call his own! The final line adds a suiting reflexation on beauty and it's transcience. A simple masterpiece, if that isn't too oxymoronic for the readers...Bravo! I yearn for more!

Keats, Byron, Shakespeare, Dante, et al ain't got nuthin on me. Suck it up. Plagiarise me and gain some kudos...I don't mind at all.

I say! You certainly are quite confident in your attributes! Suffice to say, they seem well matched! Good work!

lmao...

Originally posted by peterKSL
lmao...

'Like molten amphiaster ovulating'?

*shakes head* That was... definitely original, I'll give ya that...

my "lmao" was at your second post... 😄

Nice posts there.

Originally posted by peterKSL
my "lmao" was at your second post... 😄

You were referring that the critique is 'Like molten amphiaster ovulating'?