I would like to thank everybody for nominating
me the greatest thing since sliced bread. (i.e...."toast."😉
Thanx folks. I'm honored.
And for the record.....masturbation is wonderful!!!
Don't be ashamed. Don't fear the reamer.
I understand I had a few fans for turning the X-Men vs. Mordor
debate into a song set to "The Battle of Evermore" by Led Zeppelin:
The white queen used her mind,
And then she made them go.
The Phoenix of Jean embraced Havok,
And blasted all the orcs.
Oh, Wolverine in the night,
Slicing up orcs till light.
The Dark Lord kills X-force tonight
And comics will heal us all.
Oh, throw down your visor go,
Rest not and blast the trolls.
Side by side we snikt the might
Of the darkest of them all.
I hear the bamf and thunder,
Rogue in the valley below.
I'm waiting for the Angel of Worthington,
Waiting for the Phoenix's glow.
The Colossus of the valley holds
The fists of destructiveness,
The ground is rich from Magma's care,
The orcs, do not forget, no, no.
Oh, Wolverine in the night,
Slicing up orcs till light.
The goblins turn to blue and black,
Juggernaut's boots are red.
Oh Banshee decides to cry,
The decibels start to fly.
The sky is filled with Iceman's ramps,
And Xavier's mind will know.
Oh, well, Wolverine's gone,
The Nazgul made him pass slow.
Cyclop's eyes on the sunrise,
Blasting like the eastern glow.
The Magneto cannot exceed,
The woe of PIS.
Colossus will shake the castle wall,
The X-Men ride in black, Ride on.
Storm will be a ho, (Ride on)
Use powers she didn't have befo.
Nightcrawler can't be seen at night
Iceman makes them cold.
Oh, Wolverine in the night,
Slicing up orcs till light.
Illyana's magik will force the writer,
To bring Colossus back.
Bring him back.
At last Phoenix is shining,
Storm's clouds of blue roll by,
With flames from Sunfire and Magma
The Dark Lord sees Scott's eyes.
Bring him back. Bring him back.
Bring him back. Bring him back.
Oh now, Oh now, Oh now, Oh.
Oh now, Oh now, Oh now...
Bring him back. Bring him back.
Bring him back. Bring him back.......
And of course my thesis on the origin and proliferation of fanboys:
The advent of the Fanboy seems to have started in the 1990's.....
This was a time of great trouble and catastrophe in the comic world.
There was much suffering then.
Marvel couldn't write their way out of a paper bag then.
They went bankrupt.
Tons of Marvel Comic fans stopped buying due to the lousy quality....
Except for a peculiar tribe of people.....
This tribe bought much X-Men and worshipped the great hairy god, Wolverine.
This tribe grew large and kept buying X-Men & Wolverine.
This tribe, however, never bought or read anything other than the
poorly written X-books of that era. The tribe knew nothing outside of
their small small world. In-breeding began within this tribe and the
offspring became.....stupid.
This tribe later became known as..........Fanboys.
The rest of the comic fans of the world remember the dark and grim
days of Marvel Comics during the 1990's.
The Fanboys, however, view this period as their "Golden Age of Comics."
And this is why today there are many Fanboys who.........
know not outside of what they read, know not what they read,
and generally seem to know not about anything.
And to sum up my acceptance speach: