Damned snot-nosed punk kids ruin everything they touch!
"Mister..(actually, nobody says mister anymore!), what this?"Touching
valuable pieces of equipment with they destroying hands!
Bastard kids with their damned finger always up they snotty noses,
going around touching food and ruining them for the rest of us, with
their damned snot-covered hands!
And all the talking! And when you tell them to shut the f*** up, they
begin crying! "Why?!?!" "WHY ARE YOU CRYING YOU LITTLE TURD!?!?!"
you ask them calmly, but they just keep crying.
So you have to then go give them some valuable thing to play with
with their snotty hands, and then they suddenly shut their crying! Like
a f***in' faucet it goes off!!
But you can't even do that because their fat-ass mom is usually
there as well allowing the little toilet-smelling rats to run around and
ruin everything, and when you tell her to riegn in the little s***-wads,
she acts shocked and demands that you not tell her how to raise their
preciouos real-life Dumbos.
So you smile, and you calmly tell the whale that you're not trying to
tell her/it how to raise her little bundles of greasy joy, but to just keep
them from touching anything.
But politeness in misunderstood by these elephant seals, so off she
earthquakes to the manager to demand that you get fired! The
manager asks the talking mountain what you did, and she responds
that you practically beat her mini-crappers! "Beat them?!" you say.
"God already beat them with an ugly stick!!" you declare quite
innocently and indeed factually. But the manager wouldn't listen,
and so you are reprimanded.
But the family of hippopotami wouldn't stop! Having seen you scolded
by your manager, they begin the provocations. They would not rest
until they have seen you fired, thrown out on the street, and hopefully
one day on their dinner plates! So the little playful pieces of blubber
continue runing around screwing everything up, making sure to do so
around you.
So you once again go over and politely ask the orca to reign in her
kids. Now she got you! She runs over to the manager and tells him
that you physically threatened her! He politely explain to the manager
that it is impossible for a mere mortal to physically threaten the
entire supply of butter for three whole continents! But it is too late,
the manager, now himself similarly intimidated by the wooly
mammoth next to him, fires you.
Content at their victory, the family of planetoids orbit their way out
of the store without having bought a single item.
And that, my friends, is why kids suck!
My dad would take me to his office with him on those days. Lunch was great, as opposed to the rancid school food that I got for the rest of the school year, considering he's take me and the secretaries out to places like Olive Garden (We even went to Bern's when he had a hearing up in Tampa around the same time)