Here's the one I'm sending:
Dear Editor,
I recently came across Anthony Lane's article on the new Star Wars film entitled "Space Case" on the internet. While the word "offensive" may be a bit too far, this article has, well, pissed off the Star Wars fan community. It seems as though Mr. Lane drones on and on in the attempt of angering anybody who has ever seen a Star Wars film. There's a very distinct difference between reviewing a motion picture, be it good or bad, and just trashing it and basically making fun of devoted fans. For instance, in the article, Mr. Lane takes individual characters of the saga and bashes them to no end. He insults Ewan McGregor's accent, makes a list of "stupid" character names, refers to the character C-3PO as being a homosexual, and even makes easily explained scenarios into sounding ridiculous. (He mentions a lack of blood in the films, for instance. First of all, the wounds would be instantly cauterized due to the intense heat of the weapons being used, and second, it's a kid's movie! This isn't supposed to be Kill Bill with blood spraying out of every nick and cut! Get your facts straight!).
Like I said, there is a very big difference between reviewing a movie (which I would consider to be the equivalent of offering some helpful criticism) and acting as Mr. Anthony Lane has (the equivalent of which would be crucifying, burning, and urinating on the ashes of the films while adoring fans look on in horror). It's one thing to say, "I personally did not enjoy the film very much, but then again, I'm not a fan of the genre," (and Mr. Lane most assuredly could have said this and stayed accurate to his feelings) and deliberately insulting at least two generations worth of loyal fans.
Thank you for your time. I hope you will take this e-mail, and the many others I'm sure you're receiving, into consideration in the future.
Daniel Robin
Benicia, CA