The Agreement
cosider this your warning prior to reading this post... explicit content.
Booty Call Agreement
This Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred
to as the Agreement) is entered into
on the ___ day of ____________, 200_, between
___________ and ___________.
This agreement shall cover
the following rules and principles but are not
limited to:
1. No sleeping over- unless it is very good and
we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or
drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM- we don’t have sh!t to
talk about.
4. None of that “lovemaking” sh!t- only mind-
blowing sex.
5. No emotional discussions (Ex, Where are we
heading after this? Do you love me?--- the
answer is no, so don’t ask)
6. No plans made in advance- that’s why you’re
called the “back up”. Unless you’re from out of
town, then it’s only a one-time, advanced
arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted, money is always good.
8. No baby talks. However, dirty talk is a plus.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers.
10. No calling each other “friends with
benefits”, we are not friends, just f*ck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is
okay. Don’t get offended.
12. No extra clothing. You’re just delaying the
undressing part. Plus, I don’t want your a$$ to
leave anything behind.
13. No falling asleep right after sex. It’s
over, so go home.
14. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask you if you
enjoyed it- I don’t care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. You are my roommate’s boyfriend/girlfriend,
if anybody asks. That’s the standard response.
17. D*ggie style preferred- just hit it hard and
right or get the hell out.
18. Reason for rule number 17: The less eye
contact, the better. I don’t want to look at
you, just f*ck you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood
strikes me- so don’t keep calling...