Date Registered: Jul 24th, 2005
Status: Senior Junior Member
Previous Usernames: n/a
Total Posts: 3827
Last Online: Today (Find all posts/Find all threads)
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Birthday March 4th, 1989
Gender Male
Favorite Movies All star wars films, all lotr films, and so forth
LOTR Films
Armagedon
Harry Potter has potential to be better
National Security
Favorite Movie Stars several
Favorite Movie Quote "Vampires are just make believe creatures, just like elves and fairies and eskimos!"
"if you want to buy a pet, you go to a pet shop. if you want to buy a pet shop, you go to a pet shop shop. if you want to buy a pet shop shop, then you're just being silly!"
"britain, britain, britain. a land of accomplishment. we've had running water for over 10 years now, we've build an underground tunnel connecting us to Peru, and we invented the cat. But none of these things would have been possible without the people of britain. who they, what do, and why?"
many other Little Britain quotes! Halarious show
Location Hopeful thoughts of soon returning
Interests / Hobbies Um, there's all those sports i do and the violin
WING CHUN
Collecting smilies!!!
I also like reading funny things, like these:
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
And here are some funny one liners
Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.
A procrastinator's work is never done.
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.
A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.
If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.
I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Biography I am Bartimaeus! I am Sahkr al-Jinni, N'Gorso the Mighty and the Serpent of the Silver Plumes. I have rebuilt the walls of Uruk, Karnak and Prague. I have spoken with Solomon. I have run the the buffulo fathers on the plains. I have watched over Old Zimbabwe till the stones fell and jackels fed upon it's people. I am Bartimaeus. I reconize no master.
Yeah... that's pretty much it...
super-sonic-idiotic-booger-eating-snob
Click Me and win $1,000,000!
Were you meant to be male or female?
Here are some pick-up line responses. The two genders ARE interchangable, but of course, it's usually the man who approaches the woman. So these are mainly for the ladies (or men. but we better hope we needn't use them against other men, if you get my meaning ):
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you.....to leave.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die
laughing.
Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?