April fool

found another!

Disturbing Beer News
Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent
analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men
should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is
that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and
that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory,
100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was
then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
4) Couldn't drive.
5) Failed to think rationally.
6) Argued over nothing.
7) Had to sit down while urinating.
8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

No further testing was considered necessary

🙁 i have a few

not like the beer one? sorry 🙁

I'm looking to see if i have more...

one time i went to some ones house at 12:3o A.M.! in a halloween costume on April Fool's day. i rang the doorbell & when they answered i said "Trick or Treat". They gave me some candy.
the next year i did it again. same house too. they gave me candy again.
but when i got home it was'nt candy. it was candy wrappers with peices of paper inside that siad " April Fools ".

A tour bus driver with a bus full of seniors drives down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, and she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled.

Whereupon the old lady answers, 'We just love the chocolate around them!

Mobile Speed Camera

A report has been received that two traffic patrol officers from North

Berwick were involved in an unusual incident whilst checking for

speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road between Oldhamstocks and

Grantshouse. Last May, they were using a hand-held radar device to trap

unwary motorists on the Edinburgh to London trunk road.

One of the unnamed officers used the device to check the speed of a

vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill.

He was somewhat surprised to find that the speed recorded was off the

scale, in excess of 400 mph.

The machine had then seized up and could not be reset by the bemused

PCs. The radar had in fact latched onto a NATO Tornado aircraft in the

North Sea, which was taking part in a low flying exercise over The

Borders and Southern Scotland. Following a complaint by Sir William

Sutherland, Chief Constable of Lothian & Borders police to the RAF

Liaison Office, it was revealed that the officers could be classed as

'very fortunate'! The tactical computer on board the Tornado had not

only detected and jammed the hostile radar equipment, but had

automatically armed a Sidewinder Air-to-Ground Missile, ready to

neutralise the perceived threat.

Luckily the Dutch pilot was alerted to the missile status and was able

to over-ride the automatic protection system before the missile

launched. The Police have so far declined to comment, although it is

understood that officers will be advised to point the radar guns inland,

in future.