Good story, but anything that has Yoda dying just isn't right somehow. The greatest Jedi of all time simply CAN'T be beat. The only thing that beat him in 900 years was him giving himself to the force willingly. I know Revan is strong and all, but I just can't see anything or anyone beating Yoda. However I definitely don't think Yoda could do much to Revan either. Long ass stalemate I believe, with something weird happening to end the fight.
Nice story though. I especially liked the lead up to the fight. Great dialogue. I can almost see it on screen 🙂