Chaos is the only Uktena. Flicker and Kitty are Bone Gnawers.
Yeah, probably more along the lines of a totem of War or Cunning.
You'd take orders right now, 'cause your still a young group. When you gain more rank you can be giving the orders. But right now, you're still learning about the werewolf world. There's just the 3 of you in the pack right now, but Trickster's right, you could have kinfolk gang buddies or allies or contacts with local gangs.
Look at regular character creation rules only you don't have to worry about breed or auspice (since you're human). If you're playing a kinfolk list what tribe / tribes you're related to. If you play kinfolk you actually see a werewolf and know what they are. Normal mortals for the most part won't remember if they see a werewolf in their warform. (Unless you want to play an antagonist such as a werewolf Hunter). Kinfolk (that know about their relatives) may have a Gift from related tribe and may know a few low level rites.