Originally posted by vaya_the_elf
I don't see it at all like that. Yes now days it is becoming more common, but its still matter of choice. How someone lives their life. People just don't want to be responsible for their own actions. Thats the problem.
No, it's more like I CAN'T be responsible for my partner's actions. I control myself and whether I cheat on them or not, but I could have no idea if they're having an affair. And I know your response will have to do with a relationship being built on trust, but that's also irrelevant. All I'm saying is that it makes no difference whether I'm married or unmarried to my partner here in reality... Marriage is meaningless. Me not being married to somebody doesn't mean I'm not devoted to the relationship.
Originally posted by Darth Revan
Marriage has become a meaningless formality.
Not to everyone...
I'm not married, and i'm not a virgin...
I have met someone that i hope to spend the rest of my life with, and will probably marry her...
imo sex is a big part of any serious relationship, you need to click inside the bedroom as well as out of it...
Some people choose to wait until they’re married. Okay, their choice. I don’t understand it, but I respect their choice, just as they should respect my choices.
There are no absolutes! Unfortunately, and I just hope that people make the choices which really ARE best for THEM.
I have a good friend in the US who waited until marriage (she’s religious). She takes the relationship serious, but I also know from talking to her, that she has her doubts now in her adult life…
Then another friend of mine has had a very active sexual life starting at a very young age. This person somehow regrets that from time to time.
So – my point is that there is no way of knowing if our choices will be the best. I suppose it’s just better to regret what we have done, that what we didn’t do… or?
And “no sex until the participants are prepared to be responsible for their actions”?? I wish it was that easy, but sometimes we humans just do not THINK in the heat of passion – and that’s when even an adult woman as me have to resort to an abortion-pill, just to be on the safe side of things.
So why did YOU make the choice you did?
Originally posted by Darth Revan
Marriage is meaningless. Me not being married to somebody doesn't mean I'm not devoted to the relationship.
Some may say that. If you are really devoted then marriage would not be a big deal. It just shows how devoted you really are, and that you are actually serious about it.
Its a promise you make to each other, and you let others she that promise that was made.
Just now days people take marriage to lightly. Most people can't handle
marriage because a lot of people are untrustworthy
Originally posted by alcoholicpoet
Untrustworthy in what sense? As I said before, sex during marriage with another person would not be considered cheating, developing a romantic relationship with someone else and perhaps falling in love, would.
I as well disagree with you. Even though I do not understand in waiting to have sex before marriage, I do believe very strongly that if you have sex with someone other than who you are married to, that is cheating. Sex is not something to be taken lightly. Even if you are not married, sex should only happen when the two participants are ready, willing, and trusting of their other. Sex is sacred. If you are to have, say, a one-night-stand with someone while you are married, you were willing to give this sacred act to anothe person than the one you have promised to that you will always be there and trustworthy for.
You have broken that trust, and you have cheated, in my opinion.
I think abstaining from sex before marriage can be a nice thing, something that can strengthen a relationship and so forth, and certainly good things are worth waiting for. However everybody is different, some people have different values and place different emphasis on things, so if a person wants to wait its good, but I wouldn't condemn a couple who didn't want to wait. As long as both people are ready it should just be whats right to them.
what puzzles me is the very idea that sex is a sacred act.....if you strip away the gloss and the veneer, it is a base act in breeding, to perpetuate the species
but as humans who feel we are above that level have attached a moral stigma towards sex and the act of sex, thus making it sacred as if god has decreed it thus...
whether you wish to remain faithful to the one, or sow your oats throughout that is up to the individual and shouldn't be burdened by a moral code of ethics based on religion that has not evolved in the last 5 thousand years....
Fëanor> Of course sex is not a sacred act. But I think perhaps today it’s become a substitute for something else that may be lacking in our human lives: Intimacy.
Why it became “sacred” once upon a time in history is anyone’s guess. It has probably got to do with control. Controlling something as basic as a species desire to procreate is a powerful tool.
Originally posted by The Omegaunfortunately you are right about that, an opinion i agree on much to the dismay of those who feel that sex either before, during, or after marriage is a sacred thing when it all boils down to is a need for: A) a physical release B) to have children, and my all time favourite C) just for the hell of it 😱
Fëanor> Of course sex is not a sacred act. But I think perhaps today it’s become a substitute for something else that may be lacking in our human lives: Intimacy.
Why it became “sacred” once upon a time in history is anyone’s guess. It has probably got to do with control. Controlling something as basic as a species desire to procreate is a powerful tool.