Rogue and Fallen
Rogue Jedi and Fallen Jedi...almost sounds as if we were meant to be, right?
its weird how things work out sometimes...
how something so simple as a 'hey' or 'hi' becomes something so much more...
anyone whose been a KMC member long enough knows that at one point or another you get close to someone, you become attached.
it starts out with some innocent flirting and then you find yourself talking to this person for hours, waiting and anticipating for their next post, their next PM.
that's how i was, giddy as a schoolgirl.
it started out as a mild curiosity, but the more we talked the more i paid attention, and the more i paid attention, the more i came to realize that this was something else entirely. you all know that feeling. its the feeling you get at the beginning of a relationship when its all starting to come together.... 'butterflies, hearts, and puppy love.'
its like a rush...it just takes over you and everything else is just a blur except this one person...
we talked for hours, posting and PMing non stop. whenever he wasn't online i was wishing for him to appear, and whenever he was online i was wishing for time would stop.
of course i questioned it...
'what was this?'
'how can anyone effect me so?'
'this is just a temporary crush, right?'
'i don't even know this guy'
'this is the internet for goodness sakes'
despite all my questions, i found myself falling and falling and falling...
after a while we decided to exchange numbers. anxious, excited, nervous, terrified...i could feel my heart pounding wildly as i waited for the voice on the other line.
'hello?'
months of late night phone calls followed. hours upon hours. we talked about anything and everything. we laughed. we cried. we argued. he made the whole world seem perfect. i cherished each moment. every word, every whisper...
i couldn't believe how fast i was falling. that i could fall for someone i've never met, laid eyes on, or was ever even in the same room with before. that i could fall for a guy who the only things i knew about were things that he told me which could all very well be untrue...
but his voice. i knew his voice. and it was that voice that i kept hearing long after we hung up the phone. conversations would play over and over again in my mind. i found myself randomly and constantly thinking about him. day in and day out. wherever i went, whatever i was doing, he was there, lingering in my mind...
as time past, we eventually met. all the fears and concerns we had ( will the chemistry be there? will it be awkward? will it be worth the wait? will i still feel the same?) instantly vanished. everything fell into place and we just clicked. that first kiss...wow, electrifying!...i was utterly left breathless...
everything else after that kind of came swiftly, but i won't go into that. i'll spare you the details of his four day visit during the week of valentine's day, how a month later he dropped everything to come live with me, and how in the end i dropped everything to come live with him...
but that's not really the point. the point is, sometimes you have to go with the moment and stop worrying about what other people think. you can't always please everyone, especially all those critics out there who think…
'wow, you met online? 😑'
'but he's a bit older... 😕.'
after all, no one else is living your life but yourself and pleasing others just to please them won't make you happy either...
and yes, i am happy.