On My Own

Well this was officially my first day of college.I thought I was ready and wanted to go away but believe me thinking and imagining how much you will enjoy college is different from reality when you actually get there on your first day especially when you have Social Anxiety/Phobia such as myself.I feel so alone.I even cried a little bit when my family finally left.I was so afraid that they would see me but I kept my composure.Even during the end of some of the phone calls that I have gotten during the day from them have had me fighting back the breaking up of my voice.My mother and grandmother are so worried about me and miss me they are taking it the hardest.Mygrandma has even been losing sleep throughout the summer at the fact that I will be going away to college.I cant imagine how shes handling it tonight.Even as I am writing this my eyes are getting a little hot and moist but no tears.I do have one friend from highschool right down the hall and he came to my room a couple times and made sure I knew his room number too so that I could come over but I didnt.I couldnt bring myself to do it because of my social anxiety. Even though I know him very well I still couldnt do it and the fact that he has a roommate that I know nothing about doesnt help.And by the time that I finally brought myself to go over there I got a couple steps away from his door andthought maybe I waited to late since it is 8 something pm maybe they dont want visitors this time of night.I know I sound foolish and in the back of my mind I know I was just making excuses not to go over.I could be so much better off but I cut my self off from people because of my phobia and prevent myself from having friends and meeting new people that could be my friends.2 events were held tonight to get out and meet new people and I didnt go to one.Icouldnt.Just the thought of going out among all these people by myself is terrifying and I am not going to bring myself so low as to go and ask my highschool friend to go with me or to see if he is going so that I can go with him.Its just not metoappear so desperate I am a loner and I never give in to that kind of stuff and everybody who knew me inhighschool knows Im not the kind of person to do that.I didnt even goto my prom because the form that it was taken place was not a way that I was going.I was offered someone to go with since they couldntfind anyone else to go withI said he!! to the naw.

Of course I know what you're thinking.
What about your roommate? Yall have to have some kind of friendship right?

Well no, not really. I met him and spoke to him twice today but he's been out of the room the whole day.

So we have no kind of connection. It's 10:38 pm and he's still not back
I feel like I signed up for a single room dormitory.

Well nothing else left to report, and what do you expect when you have been sitting up in your dorm all day long.............

T still have 2 more years of high school but i did live in UW for 3 weeks and i was grate, lots of partiesholidaypile

You'll like it

I am glad someone thinks I will end up liking college, cause it doesn't seem that way.

at 1st it's weird but then you get really into itholiday

College is...weird. Over here we have university, but you dont live there...you just go for your lessons and thats it 😬
I can walk from home to my uni and back, its just 20mins away...

But anyway, at first it is pretty crap unless youve already got friends there, which I dont, and thats why it sucks for me....but since Im only there for lessons, I dont really give a f*ck about other people..😬

i ll be sad when i leave everyone

Coincidentally, Im listening to Blink 182 - Going away to college 😛

Originally posted by bardock
i ll be sad when i leave everyone

me too, I really close to my friends but if i get in UW...I'm set beacause i already have friends there

yay powerfulone1987, congrat, trust me, its gonna be great 😄

The ebst thing about college is changing majors and leaving all idiots behind and having a 2nd fresh start.

Originally posted by Sir Mist
Coincidentally, Im listening to Blink 182 - Going away to college 😛

Well when classes start i'll have to leave my dorm and meet more people so that will be good and I also left my dorm today to go hang out with my friend and I met his room mate and since they like to leave their dorm room door open, unlike me, other people would stop by just to say hi and meet us. People here are more friendly and willing to put forth the effort to make friends including meeting me, so I am feeling a little better about that. It makes me feel if they can just put their guard down and just walk up in the room without knowing anybody just to meet you then I can do it too and maybe I can go to their room and put forth an effort on my part and further the friendship, especially when one of the people who came and talked to me lives right across the hall from me, I was about to do it too, but just as I came up to his door he was leaving but we spoke briefly and that was all so i will try again later when he is in his dorm.

1. why didnt you live at home
2. is the sex good in college( I go there in soon)

Well I always had planned on living in a dorm, I wanted too, plus it like and hour and half away from my home and that would be a long ride and I would have to go back and forth so many times and with gas being like it is, even if i wanted to live at home that would be out of the question. But like I said I wanted to live in a dorm anyway and even with all the negative things that I have said I still know that in the long run it will benefit me and make me more independent, afterall people do say that I am very spoiled and I need this time for me.

And like I said in the sex thread, I am a virgin so I wouldn't know, but who knows, maybe all of that will change.

Originally posted by SlipknoT
😐 Why?

I likes it😊

Me too ^

Originally posted by powerfulone1987
Well I always had planned on living in a dorm, I wanted too, plus it like and hour and half away from my home and that would be a long ride and I would have to go back and forth so many times and with gas being like it is, even if i wanted to live at home that would be out of the question. But like I said I wanted to live in a dorm anyway and even with all the negative things that I have said I still know that in the long run it will benefit me and make me more independent, afterall people do say that I am very spoiled and I need this time for me.

And like I said in the sex thread, I am a virgin so I wouldn't know, but who knows, maybe all of that will change.

that's what i said, this is only me second day here.

Well yesterday I left my dorm building and went out into the city and guess what I got lost just like I knew I would.
And since I live on a different campus from everything happens I had to take a bus to the other campus to get to where I was going and there are different types of busses by the way.
So there I was walking trying to retrace my steps when suddenly I just gave up. So I see a bus but I don't know if it's the right one so I just stay where I am at for a while contemplating what to do when I decide to walk over to the bus and hope I'm doing the right thing.
I get over to where to bus is and the lights are blinking and the driver is no where to be seen and people are standing out side of the bus , I guessed waiting for the driver to return. So I wait and you need a card to get on from your college and I see other students with cards so I know this is a college campus bus, I just don't know which one it is, cause there a more than one to take you to different places throughout the city. So I take another guess and hop on the bus when the driver returns.
I don't know where I am going and where to go and I don't recognize my surroundings, so I don't know where to get off at or where to pull the string to tell him where to let me off. So I hope that another student from my dorm building is on the bus and going back too and they'll pull the string.
The only problem is I don't know which ones are going to the building if any at all. So I start pinpointing people who I think could possibly be going back to the dorm. So after many requested stops by passengers when get to one and I am just sitting there but I notice that many of the younger people who I am guessing are students like myself are getting off of the bus, and after all they did have the same card as I did, I just didn't know if they were going somewhere else or to the dorm building so at the last minute on an impulse I get off of the bus at the last minute in a hurry and have no idea where I am at so I follow the others and wouldnt you know it just around the corner is my building so by taking my guesses and trusting my instincts I made it and am to nervous to leave and go through that again and I also didn't get on the bus that took me over there,it was another bus and that's why I didnt recognize it