Ok well this is a song i just had this idea about writing like probably an hour ago, and i really like the concept but i'm not a master lyricacist or anything. So i'm asking for help on this cause i really wanna make this good. Can you guys (hiphop fan or not) give me serious constructive feedback on this piece. If i get it good enough i'm going to want to publish it in my schools literary magazine and maybe other places. Thanks

Title: Morning Paper
Artist: 113/obNox

[Verse]
Metro, or AM I New York ?
The second you walk out
Your doors flooded with short…
Adds, Newspaper dabble inside small business
Local news on your steps, just taking a walk on over it
Coffee box bagel shops, the square ones too
Beans smokin’ the smell of the fruit
Fruity loops or raisin’ brans wit the milk or the juice
<pause><These are a few of my favorite things>
The city still sleepin
The artist in me comes out
The block never looked so good
New Days new starts
The night’s for the young cats
Cluttered and clout
The mornings when the true hustlas come out

[Hook]
My Morning Paper
While the Sun’s premature
My foots in gear
My cars stuck to the floor
The Morning Paper
The commuters décor
This is yesterdays news
Givin’ tomorrow a tour

[Verse]
I love my morning paper
Too early to argue
My information shower
I absorb like a sponge
Ahh morning paper
All the great times behind us
They moved on paper
They got their screen
But I know you work hard
And only for me
Morning Paper
You struggled to find peace
Sweatin’ in the heat
Or when it’s snowin’ you protect me
Morning Paper
You’re the universe in my hand
Tellin’ me the weather but get ripped by the wind
Morning Paper
The Headline today:
Attack of the killer sprays
Immune to the rays
<Say ello to my lil friend>
At a 1000 words my eyes fled
My trusty paper
Dropping you for dead
At 9 o’clock AM

[Hook] x2
My Morning Paper
While the Sun’s premature
My foots in gear
My cars stuck to the floor
The Morning Paper
The commuters décor
This is yesterdays news
Givin’ tomorrow a tour