The Warriors Three(Volstagg, Fandril, Hogun) vs. The Holy Trinity(Kirk, Spock, McCoy)

Transporter accident in the space/time continuim, causes Captain Kirk, Science Officer Spock and Doctor McCoy to appear in Asgard, right in the middle of Volstagg's family picnic! Wrecking the food upon appearing, Volstagg is angry:"Villans! Have at thee!" The three retreat and pull out phasers, find they are power-damaged along with tricorders. Helpless before angry Asgardians, Fandril jumps in, saying it's not honourable to kill defenseless intruders. Volstagg agrees, and so Hogun throws three swords to the Enterprise crew, who are passionately trying to plead for peace. Then the three Asgardians comrades step towards them with weapons drawn, the intruders reluctantly pick up the swords, and...?

Dude screw kirk, Jean Luc Picard, ALL DAM DIZZAY! 😎

Kirk would rip off his shirt and Volstagg would see his ripped Starfleet trained body and run away under the bogus excuse that he needs to make sure his children are safe from the damage that will be done in the ensuing battle. That leaves Kirk and Spock facing Hogun and Bones squares off with Fandral. Kirk tries to jump kick Hogun but Hogun dodges the attack which is exactly what Kirk wanted him to do 'cause now Hogun's back is turned to Spock who gives Hogun the Vulcan nerve pinch and Hogun goes down. Amazed by what just happened Fandral rushes Spock but Kirk trips him by throwing his sword between Fandral's legs and Fandral crashes hard into a chair. Bones then gives him a Hypo spray and puts Fandral to sleep. Odin sees all this and is quite impressed by these 3 strangers. He invites the 3 to join the feast as honored guests and Kirk proceeds to bang all the Asgardian hotties he can get his hands on.