The Socrates Argument Clinic
You will have a chance to match your wits against one of history' s most famous philosopher. Your challenge is to complete the argument without making Socrates drink the hemlock. But if you can' t contain yourself, click on the hemlock icon:
Philosopher 1: What is this I'm feeling?
Philosopher 2: You tell me.
Philosopher 1: Well, some parts make me think it's cold and mysterious, others make me think it's a smooth sensation, this one part makes me think it's a whole bunch of things, but overall, I say it's beautiful metaphor of the human mind due to it's complex shape and structure.
Philosopher 2: It's a rock.
Philosophical Warning Labels
Solipsism Warning
The consumer should be aware that he or she may be the only entity in the universe, and therefore that any perceived defects in product quality are the consumer' s own fault.
Determinism Safety Advisory
Every citizen be advised that despite the possibility that his or her acts are all entirely predetermined by the blind mechanical nature of the universe and are therefore unavoidable and inescapable, he or she will still incur a legal responsibility and liability for any torts, violations, misdemeanors, or felonies he or she commits.
Knowledge-Definition Warning
Because knowledge is defined for the purpose of this product literature as "justified true belief", the manufacturer cannot prove that they "know" any of the information provided with this product to be true, correct, complete, or consistent because they cannot demonstrate their internal belief states through the principle of Philosophic Privacy.
Cartesian Evil Genius Alert
The reader is advised that he or she may be subject to an illusion generated by an evil genius, and that his or her "sensory fibers" may be falsely manipulated at any time with neither advance warning nor any possible legal remedy.
Epistemological Denotation Warning
The consumer must understand that due to the a-priori impossibility of assuring a shared denotation amongst independent agents, none of the advertising material, product literature, instructions, or safety warnings (including this one), associated with this product may contain what the consumer perceives to be factual information.
Non-Universal Ethics Notice
Due to the possibility that a common notion of ethics are not universally shared by all sentient beings, and that therefore the manufacturer may have entirely different concept of "fairness", "equity", "honesty", and "integrity" than the consumer, the consumer should not expect the product purchased to conform in any way to the advertised properties of the product.
Godelian Product Disclaimer
As it has been proven that there are many true but unprovable statements, the manufacturer cannot be held liable for any of its unsupported product claims.
Penrose Addendum to Godelian Disclaimer
Despite the above warning, the manufacturer is confident that all its product claims are true because of its mystically acquired and computationally unrepudiable organic intuition. Unfortunately, the manufacturer cannot in any way demonstrate that its intuition is correct, or indeed that it has an intuition.
Philosopher-General' s Existentialist Tobacco Products Label
Warning! This product has been found to cause cancer and emphysema, and to lead to increased likelihood of strokes and heart disease. However, as the Universe is a soulless waste inhabited by unthinking machines it doesn' t matter in the least whether you smoke or not. Go ahead, light up, it' s all the same to me if you live or die.
Monty Python's Philisopher's Song!
The Philosopher's Song (Monty Python)
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
A philosopher once had the following dream.
First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher' s surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn' t answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.
Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosopher' s objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn' t answer it and disappeared.
Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.
After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I' m asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I' ve found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will probably have forgotten it, and the world will really miss something!" With an iron effort, the philosopher forced himself to wake up, rush over to his desk, and write down his universal refutation. Then he jumped back into bed with a sigh of relief.
The next morning when he awoke, he went over to the desk to see what he had written. It was, "That' s what you say."
Proof that we have a creator....
Watch the video fully and prepare to be amazed. I may not have been the discoverer of this but I did post it first...I get credit. w00t