Metal Mouth

Check out this summary of what could become a comic book... one day...

Metal Mouth is about a 17 year old named John Hansley who’s had braces since he was like 12, and the day he is going to get them removed, something happens. The dentist applies the anesthesia that numbs John’s entire mouth. Eventually the numbness causes John to fall asleep when he awakes his mouth is engulfed by excruciating pain. When he awakes he sees liquid like metal running all over his chest and into his lap. Unable to call for help or even speak, John panics and begins knocking the things off the dentist’s tray.
As soon as the nurse steps into the room, the liquid pulls back up and shapes into the shape of John’s mouth. At first he is unable to control it, then he begins to talk and is able to tell the nurse what happened. The young man is afraid, angry and dumbfounded all at the same time. John asks the nurse if she knows what happened, she doesn’t know, because she was knocked out too. John goes outside, and discovers that there isn’t much activity. The couple make their way to a nearby gas station that is being held up by someone who is not entirely good at holding up places. Metal Mouth and the nurse come in the side door, and are unnoticed at first. The robber turns toward them and tells them to get on the floor. Suffice to say Metal Mouth using his new liquid metal mouth takes control of the situation.
Now John wants to know what has happened, and what caused the accident… Or even if it truly was an accident? The young nurse comments that he must have to keep his concentration in order to keep his mouth in its normal state. The young man tells her it is hard with someone so beautiful around. She blushes at the compliment, obviously the two like each other’s company. Eventually, Metal Mouth meets others who have extraordinary abilities. The first one is Zinc, or so he has nicknamed himself. Zinc has several amplified senses, especially taste, as well as having rapid healing, super strength and metabolism. So now John, Zinc and the nurse all stay together trying to find out what happened the day that Metal Mouth’s mouth appeared. They try finding the dentist, but each time they seem to be able to talk to him, he runs away. Now John knows that the dentist knows something, and is determined to find him, but before can continue his search, a mysterious figure appears. And a tremendous amount of wind begins to blow the heroic trio toward him. Suddenly Metal Mouth discovers that the person is able to actually vacuum them toward itself. Metal Mouth grabs the nurse and bites a nearby pole, Zinc is able to grip the ground hard enough that he stays still. The wind stops, and the person tells them that they have no chance that they should just give up. MM sets the nurse down, and asks Zinc if he’s ready for a brawl. Zinc of course agrees, then as he charges toward Vacuum, a huge drill breaks up the ground. The next villain appears, Driller, who is able to change his extremities or even his whole body into a metallic drill.
After the two good guys are able to subdue the bad guys, they question them, but another figure appears, in a white lab coat, and throws darts filled with paralyzing liquid at our trio. The bad guys get away, and once the good guys are able to get up again they go back to a temporary home to recover. The good guys find another to help, one who is able to eat meat become incredibly strong, unfortunately the effect only lasts for so long. Essentially the four good guys are trying to figure how they got their powers, and trying to find the dentist. The Paralyzer shows up and usually disrupts everyone and everything. Just when Metal Mouth thinks he has everything figured out, he comes across another stumbling block, one in the form of the Toymaker. After the four are able to defeat robotic copies of themselves, Vacuum, Driller and the Dentist, they think they defeat the Toymaker.
The Toymaker appears again, this time calling himself the KrimeMaster, he has acquired several gangs under his control. With the Paralyzer’s help, our heroes defeat the KrimeMaster and his new sidekick, E. Z. Ka$h. Of course that still isn’t the end of the criminal mastermind, he returns again as the KrimE King, who now has thousands of gangs of people under his control. And only a few are able to stand against the tides of evilness. Fortunately a few new heroes show, Burner, Flare, and Mammoth, all who appear to be dressed as dastardly as the gangs, but end up fighting against the gangs as well. Just when things seem to be so incredibly hard on the good guys a rather unusual “savior” appears. One that is nearly 50 stories high, and moves at about 5 miles per hour! It’s the Snale! With the help of Snale’s incredible mental powers, and enormous shell, which houses our heroes, and still has room for its owner.
Now with only a limited amount of time and energy our heroes are in for the fight of their lives, however John still has lingering thoughts about where all these people with their wild powers, including his own, came from. Eventually the bad guys, Vacuum, Driller, and Paralyzer join the good guys indefinitely, and are ready to get rid of the greater evil. The greatest of the bad guys are defeated, although with Snale’s sacrifice.
Once everything returns to an area of normalcy, Metal Mouth is able to construct, with all his friend’s help, a base of operations. With the help of technological innovations, our heroes are able to happen upon a crime scene almost instantly. However, this lasts only for a few days as everything literally explodes into chaos. It seems Paralyzer, even though his intentions did not appear evil, has awakened a mutant with the power to cause explosions simply with a thought and a count of the hand, calling himself T.N.E. (Telepathic Neurologic Explosive). Our heroes seem to be less than able to handle this new threat which seems just too overwhelming, especially without Snale’s mental abilities. The plot continues to thicken as Metal Mouth discovers the Dentist’s dead body after excavating a building that had been destroyed by T.N.E. With the Dentist’s death so to are many of Metal Mouth and the other’s questions, this makes them very angry and attack Paralyzer, Vacuum, and Driller. The anger only made them sloppier, and they are nearly killed, until Metal Mouth’s robotic version, which is terribly slow, shows up, and saves them. The fight is far from over as they battle to save survivors and attempt to simply block T.N.E.’s explosions as he has to be within a certain range to conjure his explosions, as our heroes discover.
Once T.N.E. is finally dealt with, as Metal Mouth is able to actually “eat” one of his explosions, and spits the energy back at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine. They try to get Paralyzer and his minions but they retract to another, much more harder to get to secret hideout. The technology being used can only be point to the KrimeLord, and the answers to the questions grabbing at Metal Mouth and crew. Finally they defeat the three supped up bad guys and catch the KrimeLord. He explains that he was controlling the other three and using them. Then he suddenly rises our of the ground, and our heroes have to fight him while he controls an enormous robot, that doesn’t have any joints, the joints have electrical fields, that allow it fly off and come back. Our heroes defeat the robot and after checking the rubble, discover that the KrimeLord has again escaped. A final storyarc is the appearance of two alien races, the Sandblast, known also as the Dark Breed alien, and the Colony, known as the Abomination alien. The Sandblast, the more good ones, left something behind on Earth and have come back to recover it, the Colony are going to stop them. Metal Mouth and all the others are caught in the middle.

Here are some more of the characters!!

Good Guys:
Metal Mouth - This is our protagonist. John Hansley, just your normal everyday 17 year old. Who wakes up after what he thought was going to be getting his braces off, and he instead has this liquid metal mouth. He thinks it is wicked cool until after his first run in with the cops, he then reconsiders having this new power.

Nurse - She is a nurse and Metal Mouth manages to control his liquid metal mouth a whole lot better when she is around. So essentially she is able to heal everyone around her. She develops her power further over time in that she is able to direct her healing power, although she is still unable to heal herself.

Zinc - This kooky, yet highly intelligent character shows up not very long after Metal Mouth becomes famous or infamous for his power. Zinc realizes that he too has some power, and well its actually a quite few amplified traits, such as a heightened sense of taste, rapid healing and metabolism, amplified intelligence, strength and stamina. Zinc helps Metal Mouth out, and is all about having a good time, so when someone comes around to mess it up, he is ready and willing to stop those that mess stuff up!

8 Iron - This a very interesting character, in that he gets his power from eating a lot of meat, whether its beef, chicken, turkey, even pig, whether its cooked or not! When he does eat enough meat he becomes a super strong, super fast, and really big guy! Unfortunately the effect wears off after so long, and then he must replenish his appetite and the source of his power. His power develops further in that he can hold his powerful form longer, and is able to make his extremities nearly invincible.

Burner – This young man has the ability to make his body temperature rise and even make the area around extremely hot. Although it would seem he would have a fiery personality, he is rather quiet and shy, but pours on the heat when necessary.

Flare – This is Burner’s even younger girlfriend, she has the ability make entire body brighten up to 1,000 watts, but it doesn’t provide any heat. But she tells everyone that “her” man provides all the heat she could need, or anyone else could stand.

Mammoth – is a very large boy, he is only fifteen years old, and is 6 feet, 10 inches tall, and weighs around 300 pounds, and nearly all of it is muscle. His powers are not entirely known, he apparently is able to break through any obstacle without any damage coming to his body.

Snale – is a gigantic snail that has mental powers that allows him to communicate with our heroes, and uses them against the bad guys. His even huger shell allows the good guys to stay in and stay on the move. Even though he shows up toward the end of the final battle and ends up dying at the end, he plays a very important role. And ends up being a sort of mentor and leader for the good guys who are beginning to break up as the mounting evil of the KrimeLord continues to escalate.

Bad Guys:
Vacuum - well as the name suggests, Vacuum can create a vacuum in his/her surrounding area. As he/she develops his/her power he/she is able to absorb certain substances, and then blow them out again.

Driller - This is one of the more powerful villains, Driller can make his hands, legs, even the top of his head into a drill like structure, even able to tunnel through any substance known. Driller becomes quite a menacing threat, as he is nearly unstoppable, and his drills can drill through almost anything!

Molar - This is a character that appears later in the series, and is seems that his skin has about the same consistency as enamel making it very hard to damage him. Plus he is extremely strong, even stronger that 8 Iron, and his bite seems even worse! He seems to just wreak havoc at random, and the Metal Mouth crew finally shuts him down after some handy teamwork.

NO NAME YET(Vyce? Wreckin’ Ball?): Has the ability to create a tremendous amount of pressure with his hands, as well as having unbreakable fingernail, which he somehow is able to shape into small claws. Eventually he can transfer the pressure to his arms, allowing him to crush things like when he is in a bearhug, or even pinch large metal beams between his forearm and bicep.

Toymaker/Krimemaster/Krime King - This character goes through several transformations throughout the book, each one leading to a more powerful and eviler character. The Toymaker, creates robotic duplicates of our heroes, at which point Paralyzer has joined with, simply because he says “It is the greater of the threats posing us this time.” Once Toymaker is presumed killed, well, to our heroes’ surprise, it was only a robotic duplicate, and the real one shows up in a huge robot. Nearly kills 8 Iron, and Paralyzer shows a new vial by hitting Molar, who appeared to be under the Toymaker’s control, and changes Molar to be on the good side. With each transistion this character begins to have more extravagant clothing and accessories, and is finally able to lead a city full of criminals against our heroes.

Sidekick: E. Z. Ka$h - this is the above character’s sidekick, loyal to the death. Which he is found dead after the Krimemaster transformed to the Krime King. Not much was known of him at the time, other than he seemed to have an unlimited supply of cash, which he would use to buy his and his master’s clothing and accessories with, and would also bribe gangs to come under his master’s rule.

T.N.E. – Telepathic Neurologic Explosive! That’s what T.N.E. stands for, and he’s not afraid to use his power to its outermost limits. His power is somewhat limited; as he has to count out the number of the explosions he wants to create, of course within a range, on his hand. Most would think well he could cause the most damage by using five all the time; this guy is too precise and too stuck on himself to be so brazen. He will use five, even six when necessary, but he knows how to use his power very well, and has never had to use more than six, until he gets brave and tries to blow up Metal Mouth and his crew’s city!

Sandblast, Dark Breed Aliens – These creatures firstly attack Earth, in an attempt to make sure they have everyone’s attention. They apparently left some device behind, which has already been activated by someone. Metal Mouth and crew get into contact with the aliens and try to befriend them, instead they end up as captives. Fortunately it’s for the good, as the Colony, Abomination aliens are on the Sandblast’s tail.

Colony, Abomination Aliens – When the Colony arrives all hell breaks loose as they begin fighting the Sandblast. The Colony was trying to beat the Sandblast here, and were going to confiscate the device. However they didn’t think it had been activated yet either. It had been activated by the Dentist who used its power to give John, the Nurse, Zinc, 8 Iron, and all the other their powers. With the exception of Paralyzer who is a colleague of the Dentist, he is just very good at what he does, and wanted to stop the Dentist from using his power anymore. The Paralyzer simply did not want any more crazy super powered people running around, but the Dentist had done it to stop the Abomination aliens when they arrived. He knew this because he was given a brief history of the aliens when he activated the device.

Unknowns:
Dentist - The dentist that treated Metal Mouth is a very mysterious character. He is always running away from Metal Mouth, when he happens upon him. He is usually only recognizable by his glasses that hide his eyes, and his perfect hair, and is usually wearing a dark trench coat. His powers are still unknown, but it seems to have something to do with subduing powers or amplifying them greatly.

Paralyzer - When he first appears it is hard to distinguish whether he is a villain or anit-hero. For Metal Mouth and his crew never catches him doing anything to benefit himself, or aiming toward taking over something or trying to kill Metal Mouth, or any innocent life, well life that may appear innocent at first, then turns out the person did do something wrong. Metal Mouth happens upon Paralyzer fighting the Dentist, and is unsure who to fight with or fight against! Paralyzer is in a white lab coat, that is lined with hundreds of vials with needles attached to them, able to throw them with superb accuracy, the liquid in the vials are only known to paralyze, and the effect wears off after about a day.

Metamouth - this is the robotic version of Metal Mouth, and proves to be just as resilient as the human it was crafted after. Zinc being the technical wiz that he is, reprograms the robot before anyone is able to destroy it. It proves its worthiness over time, but ends up saving the Nurse and Metal Mouth before it is finally destroyed by a powerful bad guy.

Here are some more!!

New Powers:
Along with rehashed old ones, something of an outline…

1) Ability to form glass orbs, with thousands of broken glass shards sticking outward. As person grows more proficient in said power, eventually able to make them larger and explode. However, for early incantations of this power, mostly can create broken shards, and throw them. Creating the shards is painful, blood and wounds open from wherever person chooses to create the glass from. Cool codename(s): Shard, Chrystalis, preferred gender: female

2) Able to summon ancient creatures. Once one has been summoned, and its purpose fulfilled, it can never be summoned again. Most of them are related to the sea or water. However, once all of them have been summoned, power is useless, but it is unknown as to how many there are to summon. Cool codename(s): Beckon, preferred gender: female

3) Able to turn males into females, and vice versa. Effect lasts longer and can be done on more people as the person becomes more proficient in power. Cool codename(s): Lontadon, Gender Bender, preferred gender: either, of course
4) Able to make inanimate objects animate. However there are a great deal of complications, such as the thing having to have arms, legs, torso and head. The head can not be heavier than the rest of its body, and it must be made of solid objects. Cool codename(s): Ranimate, preferred gender: male

5) Able to create enormous mushrooms, some of which are very tough. Person can use power to create a winding staircase of ‘shrooms, and given the time can create one large enough to bust a building. Basically person can do anything with them as long as there is soil and water nearby. Cool codename(s): Funges, Fungous, Fungal, preferred gender: either

6) Using space like terms, person has the ability to create bombastic type attacks, such as “Shooting Star!” – a streamlined punch covered with flashes of light; “Cosmic Burst!” – Shoving both hands together in front of body, a burst of blinding light and kinetic force appears; (more powerful) “Nebular Fraction!” – a concentrated form of compacted space, an area of pressure so unforgiving that eventually it crushes everything inside it. Nearly unlimited potential. Cool codename(s): Cosmos, preferred gender: alien/male

7) Able to create deep bass like sound waves, using certain hand and arm motions, almost dance like movements. Problem is the person is deaf, and has to communicate with sign language, and sometimes, certain signs create the sound waves accidentally. Cool codename(s): Rhythm, preferred gender: female.

8) Totally Christmas themed powers, material wise anyway. Such as lights, bows, ribbons, to tye onto things or tying people up. All the wooden toys, ducks, soldiers, nutcrackers, most of the time, things are created at random. Person has to focus if they want the desired effect. Other examples, giant stockings, create sleighs, which is handy during snow, where the person stays most of the time, also plastic snowmen, santa claus, candy canes, etc. Cool codename(s): Scrooge, preferred gender: male

9) Can create candy coated sticks, to fight with, shoot peppermint pellets out of hands. All candy themed stuff, kind of like Willy Wonka on steroids. Other examples: huge lollipops turned on its side, like a frisbee, hard round candy to slip up people that are running away, etc. Cool codename(s): Funka Wunka, preferred gender: either

10) Can turn cylindrical objects into worms, thousands of them, depending on the size of the object. No really huge worms, mostly the harmless dirt worms. Remember any object that is cylinder or cylinder shaped. Cool codename(s): Worm, Glorm, Wormcycle, preferred gender: either

11) Can create random road signs that have reality warping effects, the sign also changes the person’s mask. Confused? Person summons his power, which makes a road sign, say a “STOP” sign shoot out of the ground. This could stop the person coming at him, stop time in the immediate vicinity, stop the earth’s movement, any number of random effects will occur from the random generation of these mysterious road signs. Other examples: Yield, curve signs, the arrows pointing two directions, speed limit, which would wide varying effects, if a random street sign pops up, nothing will happen, but the man could potentially rip it all the way out of the ground and pummel his opponent with it. Cool codename(s): Undo, Random F-EKT, preferred gender: male.

12) Can manipulate any surface he stands on to carry him wherever. Cool codename(s): Slyde, preferred gender: +female/male?

13) Hides the power of a sun inside body, able to release it at will, and manipulate the sun’s rays. Gains power from sunlight. Has to release any energy gained after being out in the sun for a whole day. Has unlimited power potential. Cool codename(s): SunStorm, Mandinga, Solaar, preferred gender: male.

14) Don't forget originals! Burner, Flare and Mammoth. Burner of course able to increase his internal heat to unknown degrees! Flare compliments Burner's internal heat with external light, the hotter he makes things the brighter light she can create. Mammoth's powers are a bit of a mystery, besides super strength and the ability to barrel through any substance, without any damage, there are other things he is capable of!

15) Also don’t forget Metal Mouth - has liquid metal mouth, Nurse - able to heal any wound, except her own, keeps MM’s pain in check, Zinc - super senses, mostly taste, high metabolism, high zinc levels in body, Iron-8: eats meat, any meat, becomes big and strong, and Molar - skin is made of enamel.

16) Hi-Jacker: his power is that if it has a power source, a way to steer it and a frame to keep it all together, he can drive it.

17) Person has the power to make his/her grip have as much pressure to grip anything, or beyond that crush it. Cool codename(s):Vyce, preferred gender: male

18) Person’s fingernails can dig into any surface, and using martial arts slice through anything. The nails do not continuously grow, but the person can actually sharpen them on some extremely hard element, such as diamonds or platinum, they can become longer and sharper. They actually shrink back on their own, to extend only about a 1/4 of an inch off the fingertip. Cool codename(s): Shan-Teer(f), Zon-Tear(m), preferred gender: either

19) Person has the ability to cling any part of his/her body to any surface, that includes face on the underside of a table, person is extremely limber and agile. This makes his/her grip ultra adhesive and strong but not near as strong as above’s Vyce’s. His/her grip is more centered on being able to stay on something as opposed to the amount of pressure he can summon. Another part of the power is being able to make his/her body weight as light or as heavy as he imagines, with some limitations of course. Cool codename(s): Kling, preferred gender: +male/female?

20) Let’s not forget the redesigned Cigma, who will be getting a new codename, maybe… Part of his power is channeling and redirecting energy, however, at first he has absolutely no control over the power. He is able to construct a power suit of sorts, that allows him to control his power. There are still several mysteries surrounding his power.

21) Let’s not forget the original bad guys with some updates: Toymaker (Krime Lord? Krime King? KrimeMaster?), E. Z. Ka$h, Black Widow (redone as Blood Spider, more on him later), P.O.W.E.R., and add some new ones who were once good: Shocko, Tidal Wave, and Wirl Wind. When those three come on the scene people are confused as to why they are now bad, so they were actually good at some point. I may also interject the old characters such as Blue, Yellow and Black Dragons, but give them different code names and personalities, but keep their original powers similar. Also leave in Cherubim, Jaden, Die-Hard(new codename? Try Cache), Kronos(or Krono? Epoch?),

22) On the three color dragons, perhaps give them the foreign translations of their colors; Blue-Azul, Yellow –Amarillo or maybe Arsenal, Black-Negro (change for obvious reasons, perhaps use another language that sounds less racially negative! Perhaps French: Noir) Azul – controls blue fire, Arsenal – controls yellow fire, and shape it into melee weapons, Noir- controls black fire and transform into a black dragon.

23) Blood Spider: This character was known as black widow, but as a man, and now that I look back, bad idea… So now with the redesigned suit and persona, thanks to Jason Dement. This character can slowly drain the life giving blood from somebody, however, Blood must first open a wound on the person, no matter if they already have a wound, Blood must perform it physically first. Once the wound is open. Blood removes his mask, revealing a hideous spider mouth, and is able to suck the blood as long as they are within range. Blood does not perform this power often, once he has done it, he becomes more powerful, and if he does it from someone superpowered, he gains their powers momentarily.

Well is anyone interested in the idea. I know there's alot of reading, but there's a lot of stuff that goes into a comic book. If you have the time read through everything and tell me what you think. Your opinion matters to me, I want some really good criticism. IF you have the chance to post a reply, short and sweet to the point is fine. Thank you all again in advance.

hmmm well i've got to say you've got a LOT of ideas and they all look pretty good. i'm a big fan of "gender bender", haha it just sounds cool. so hopefully you'll post somethin soon. I'm probably going to start to "revise" my Matrix stories and repost them because I just watched Revolutions again and the movies make more sense now so keep an eye out for that. other than that, keep up the work on this, it looks like a great story in addition to a comic, and since you've already got one book published I'm sure you'll have no trouble at all turning this into a comic. I must admit I don't read comic books, but if this ever became one I'd buy a copy for sure. So good luck!

so much for short and sweet to the point 😛 later man!

Hey joelsef! Thanks for posting! Yeah one day I hope to be a comic book creator as well as an author. Heck, I've even started a screenplay, which are much harder to write than anything I might add. I'll have to keep a lookout for your revised matrix stories!

Okay, who the hell voted "what the hell is this crap?" and didn't post a reply?! I mean come on! How immature. Anywho, if you actually think this is a good idea or have some kind of feedback, don't be shy to post it! I can take it I'm a big boy. I really want some opinion on this, everywhere I go, no one seems to even read it. Well, I suppose it could be so bad that no one even wants to take the time to read it... Nah... I feel my ideas are much better than that. Check it out, read in to it, and tell me what you think!