Israel, otherwise known by its official name, The Schmenklic Empire of Jewistan (Hebrew: éùøàì, Yiddish: éàòñøòàòòééì, Binary: 100101011001. American: Foreign Aid Black Hole, 1337: H01Y L4ND U F***ing n00b, Arabic: Palestine) is the only good nightclub in the Middle East, run by Vin Diesel. It is well known for the army-techno outfit of its bouncers. It is in fact so popular that a number of entrances are required to co-ordinate the club-goers. The dress code, through a stroke of trendy genius, comprises of sandals and a Yamulka as the only requirement. These are known as checkpoints, and the queues are especially long on the side of the Phillistines, few of whom are admitted to the established arts venue. A 1980s spin-off of Fabric in London, it has attracted Poles, Russians and Germans especally among other party-goers. It is the sister-club of Golder's Green in North London, England, and Brooklyn in New York. A favourite theme night is Demolition!!!, where groups of industrial Kibbutz owners drive Caterpillar tractors. Another favourite night is Blow-UP!!, where members fill condoms with helium, and float them over all the middle east, just to piss them off. Israel is often described by Actors as the promised land Israel was big for drag racing in the 1960s, when the manager was the world-renowned drag racer Mother Teresa.
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