Veren zol fun dir a blintsa
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick
I tell ya, he's to die for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Workin' like a dog at the synagogue
He's there all day, he's there all day
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmear
Just grab your yamuka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oh, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shool
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white BREAD with mayonnaise
Put on your yamukah and
hey ! hey ! do thAT HEBREW THING Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite chip
The parents pay the moyal and he gets to keep the tip
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell
Show up at his home, he says "Shalom"
And "Have some cake - you want some cake?"
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz
So grab your yamuka
The one you got for Chanukah
Let's put on our yamukah and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
Originally posted by taftfuggin huge.
What do you think of my latest render?
As i walk throught the valley where i harvest my grain,
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me,
you know I shun fancy things like electricity.
At 4:30 in the mornin' i'm milking cows,
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
and I've been milking and plowing so long that
even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone.
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline,
got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin,
but if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine,
then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699.
(Chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish Paradise,
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish Paradise,
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish Paradise.
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week,
i just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek.
I don't really care, in fact I wish him well,
cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell.
I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it,
an Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of.
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat,
and my homies agree i really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears,
we haven't even payed the phone bill in 300 years,
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare,
we're just technologically impaired.
there's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single
luxury,
like robonson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be,
(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
we're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish Paradise,
there's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish Paradise,
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish Paradise
Hitching up the buggy, churning lots of butter,
raised a barn on Monday, soon i'll raise anutter
think you're really rightious?
think you're pure in heart?
well i know i'm a million times as humble as thou art.
I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
on my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife.
so don't be vain, and don't be whiney,
or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney.
(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish Paradise,
there's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish Paradise,
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish Paradise,
