Myth #1: Your life will magically be happier when you’re in a relationship.
The problem with this myth is it’s based on the belief that happiness comes from outside yourself. Sure, a person can give you momentary happiness. But if you aren’t happy on your own — with your life, friends, career, who you are — another person won’t change that.
That’s because a relationship can’t change how you feel about yourself. The people who believe that end up being sorely disappointed with another person. Instead of buying into this notion, spend your time being single, creating your happiness.
Myth #2: Being single is a problem that needs to be fixed ASAP.
My singledom felt let a scarlet letter on my chest. Not that anyone ever made me feel bad about it; I created that fabricated judgment inside my head. So, naturally, I never stayed single for too long. I saw relationships as a solution to, well, just about anything.
But this caused me to make a lot of bad dating decisions. When you rush into anything, it most likely won’t turn out well. Call me crazy, but I’d venture to guess that’s why many people are unhappy in their marriages. They thought marriage was a milestone to rush to.
Take your time. Don’t let anyone make you think that being single is a problem that needs to be fixed. Being single is a beautiful stage in life because it means you get to meet all kinds of people and learn who is right for you.
Myth #3: There’s something wrong with you for being single.
Let’s stop with those whole “damaged goods” or “change yourself, so people like you” crap. There’s nothing wrong with you for being single. The fact you haven’t found a partner yet doesn’t mean you’re less valuable than other people.
It simply means that you haven’t found a good match for you. That’s it. Case closed. Like I already said, you can’t rush this process. The person you’ll be with will come at their own time. There’s no use in feeling bad about yourself while you’re dating in the meantime.
And while you’re at it, remember that rejection is all part of the process. Just because someone you liked decided to stop dating you doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It just means that wasn’t the person for you.
Myth #4: If you’re single, it’s because your standards are too high.
While I’m all for adjusting standards, they’re still essential for dating. Anyone who tells you to lower your standards without even understanding what you’re looking for is someone whose advice you don’t want to take.
Sure, don’t have superficial pet peeves disguised as standards. I have plenty of friends who wouldn’t date a guy with bad style or a woman who doesn’t have a high-paying job. All of that isn’t important to find a great life partner.
But do have boundaries based on your values, morals, or life goals that you refuse to have crossed. If someone is telling you otherwise, then it's their standards that need to change, not yours.