Towelie: I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.
Cartman: You're the worst character ever Towelie.
Towelie: I know.
Mr. Garrison: Recently I came out and admitted I was a homosexual so now I can say the word "***". On television, they usually don't allow "***", but since I'm gay, it's okay. And with the new approval of the word "shit", I can now say: "Hey there, shitty shitty *** ***, shitty shitty *** ***, how do you do? Hey there, shitty shitty *** ***, shitty shitty *** ***, how do you do?"
Man #1: (after a crowd tramples Kenny) Oh my God, I found a penny.
Man #2: You bastard.
Cartman: Guess what I have in my backyard?
Stan: A pool?
Cartman: Better.
Kyle: A trampoline?
Cartman: Better.
Kenny: [muffled] A ****ing machine?
Cartman: Better.
Kenny: Mmmmf mmmf mmmmmf mmmmmmm mmmmf mmmmf mmmmmmmmf mmmf.
Stan: Totally, dude.
Kyle: Good point, man.
Grandpa: You can kill me, can't you?
Eric Cartman: I would never kill somebody. Not unless they pissed me off.
Grandpa: Oh, is that a fact? Well, let me tell you something porky. Your mom was over here earlier, and I humped her like a little *****.
Eric Cartman: What?
Grandpa: That's right.
Stan: Grandpa.
Grandpa: And then, I dug up your great-grandma's skeleton and had my way with her too.
Eric Cartman: Eh.
Grandpa: Choice piece of ass your great-grandma.
Eric Cartman: You piece of crap. I'll kill you.
Grandpa: That's the spirit, tubby.