-=- Last time you had Sex? -=-

Having problems with my lady. This sucks. She's very needy and I'm very busy with a very demanding and stressful school program and have kind of leveled off on initial sexual, cuddly attention giving (don't get me wrong, I LOVE having sex with her, but I actually almost feel guilty wanting it too much, so I never know how much is right). But anyway, she's convinced that she "needs" to be told a certain amount of love and affection. It sounds rather insecure to me, and something she needs to work on, but I really do love her and think she's pretty perfect in every other way. I don't want to lose her, but how am I supposed to know when I've given her enough? (She's impossible to read non-verbals on and she doesn't talk to me very well) and my mood won't always allow for it. This is a give and receive kind of thing, right?? It has to be two-way, I would think..

🙁

Any advice, please?

No not always. when you really connect you dont have to say a word you just know, but then there are those relationships that take more time to develop...She just hasn't fully opened up to you, sometimes you have to go through things in order to understand each other better, so that she can trust you more.

I mean you can try but its weird because most of the time its the other way around, girls who can't read what a boy is thinking. The best root is the direct root, just ask her without making it a big deal and see what she says to you. Report back. If something is bothering you tell her, if she's being needy then tell her, "not now I am studying."

I recently found myself landing in jail.

I spent the next hour getting brutally raped in the ass.

Sometimes I think my uncle takes Monopoly a bit too seriously.

Last night, and it rocked the house down 😄

Originally posted by rudester
She just hasn't fully opened up to you, sometimes you have to go through things in order to understand each other better, so that she can trust you more.

I think this is pretty true. Good point. She does seem reluctant to open up to me still, and I don't understand why. She's got some serious insecurity issues, I think.

Originally posted by rudester
I mean you can try but its weird because most of the time its the other way around, girls who can't read what a boy is thinking. The best root is the direct root, just ask her without making it a big deal and see what she says to you. Report back. If something is bothering you tell her, if she's being needy then tell her, "not now I am studying."

Yeah, the opposite is the typical stereotype.. you're right. And see, I'm not sure if the fact that English isn't her first language is part of the problem or not. She's actually getting pretty good with English, so I dont think it is. I mean, she doesn't bother me while I'm studying, per se, but she came over the other day and surprised me with some chocolate. I thought she was just being nice and spontaneous. She caught me off guard. But when she left she texted me and said she hasn't been happy in the relationship for the past 3 weeks. This was news to me!! She comes off as completely content! She said that "I've changed" and thinks I don't give her as much attention and affection as I did before. And I won't deny that, necessarily, because the intitial sex-drive horniness is leveling out, but it doesn't mean I love her any less. She keeps saying she "needs" constant attention to be happy. Now does that sound healthy to you? I mean, to get you have to give... right? I mean, how am I to know she "needs" it if she doesn't go after it every now and then??

IDk life is an experience that everyone has to go through. It could be because as you said, miscommunication; because she is from another culture she was raised up differently. Peech; you have to understand that she wasn't raised like an american girl watching pretty women or dreaming about shopping, it really depends on her and how she was brought up! If she is one of those girls who lived in a small community and was raised traditionally, then she wants probably to get married but I can't really say because I dont know her. Look all girls want love and affection, this is a known fact. You dont have to be with her 24/7 but she wants you to recongize her, let her know your thinking about her.

It is also because you are doing something with your time and she is not, therefore she has more time to focus on you and you less time to focus on her. (you could always have her join a club or get a job or take an english course, too keep her busy) When your doing nothing all you think about is your problems and sometimes the mind helps create them where there is none.

And chocolate is a sign for sex, it's been well known that chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

If you want to do something fast and make you get her mind of your problems buy her a stuffed animal. (girls love stuffies) Tell her you were thinking of her when you saw this stuffed animal. As for the ex, you just have to make time for her relationships arent easy and you should understand that by now. Humans waste a lot of time doing nothing everyday, sometimes we dont even realize it , so just figure out when you can see her.

Or she may not have had a lot of attention/may not have felt loved growing up and now she's seeking it from you..
By the sound of it the chocolate business was about trying to get your attention focused on her. Not strictly in a sexual way, just in general perhaps.
Also the whole, "I really do love her and think she's pretty perfect in every other way. I don't want to lose her" thing.. have you told her that?
And what do you do together when you're not studying?
For example, my boyfriend and I often stuff our faces and watch films/tv together and cuddle. Or like, play some vidya gaems or something. That's what we do. shrug

Just my opinion, like.

Back on topic.
Thrice yesterday.
& a bj.

Haha.. thanks, guys/gals.

I actually think she is kind of Americanized, rudester. She already spoke some English before she came here (but it's improved a whole lot more since). Other parts of the world see our TV, films, fashion, etc. Not everybody hates us, lol. Most people actually like us I think. Media hype is often very distorted. But anyway, that's a whole other topic...

Yes, I've told her that I really love her. She knows how much she means to me and I know that I mean a lot to her as well. We're pretty nausea-inducing, lol. 😛 I found out a little more to the story: she said that every other boyfriend that she's had she saw a lot more often. We only see each other on the weekends (for the most part) because she works and I am very busy with classes. Oh, and she does take English classes and she always has really good questions regarding the English language. Very inquisitive! I'm often stumped and have to come up with some vague way to explain the difference between "wish" and "hope" (for example), haha... very good questions. Anyway, she also said she's used to getting a lot of attention from her family whom she sounds very close to. I've talked to her some and I think we're on the same page now. She said she was going to talk with friends of hers to make her feel better about it. And one of my friends at school gave me a really good piece of wisdom, something to the effect of:

If we're getting less lovey-dovey around each other, then it just means we're getting more comfortable with each other, and that's a good thing. It doesn't mean we love each other any less.

I thoroughly agree. I've told her that and she understood. And I like that we're getting to that point.

Kharhmah, yeah, we like to curl up and watch movies, go the gym, (or at least I thought we did until she told me we do the same things all the time). I'm still baffled by that, cuz we've done tons of different stuff: ice-skating, go-carts, picknick at the beautiful downtown park, tennis, dinner out, hang around and study for out classes, paintball, bowling, a dance club that she likes, go to the movies, wandering around the mall, walmart (lol), etc. etc... And we still have plans to do miniature golf and swimming, so like I said, I'm still very baffled by that..

dontgetit

Oh, and of course we also like to do.. you know.. naughty (and I think we both really enjoy that).. 😛

Oh my god she is such a sweetheart doll... 😍

just an hour ago. It wasn't ex it was dry humping, towards the middle of it he stopped and started talking about his ex; so we just layed there and talked, then came the slideshow.

I think im becoming a whore, lets see he picked me up in the corner of my block... (yup whore)

I walked the way home, it was a nice walk and I needed it, there was a bunch of people having the time of their lives for st patties day. So, I didnt really get anything out of this date, just got to see a nice apartment building, it kinda was like those modern apartment buildings you see in the movies; better then mine. It had lights in the front enterence but I mean alot, and flowers and red decore so amazingly placed against a nice white marble backdrop with a hint of gray wallpaper sorta like this.

Last night

After lunch

Saturday afternoon and today around 1pm.. 😮‍💨

This afternoon

uhuh

2011 😐

Tonight if things go well... prob not with my luck.

Originally posted by rudester
Tonight if things go well... prob not with my luck.

You can do it Rudey!
YouTube video

I did it. and it was bad...I am starting to think that having ex with the same person is boring?? I faked it. Men can fake it too. (lol)

Rudy is spelt Rudy not Rudey...

I'm only having ex a lot because I am getting operated in one month and a half, I wont be able to have sex for a whole year. And I always use protection and I always go to visit the doctor. And I have no STDs as of yet.

Just finished.

I now have sex hair. awesome