On the [adjective] side...

I found this little "gem" in my meanderings. I'd like to see how KMC reacts to it.

Originally posted by VeeRau
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

6. Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommate(s) know? How did they react?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

17. There seems to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

18. Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems that s/he would face?

You can insert your own adjective into the title. I think 'retarded' fits best.

Taking our jobs.

I'm not gonna touch it...Nope.

its simply a flipside of the same illogical barbed questions which have always been asked of homosexuals. seems pretty ridiculous doesnt it?
its meant to be. i dont think it was trolling, but rather an attempt to have the viewer look at the situation from a different perspective. a few of those questions kinda killed the point though, but what can you do...

It's obvious satire aimed at those who make antigay arguments, pointing out the always obvious flaws in their statements.

Originally posted by PVS
its simply a flipside of the same illogical barbed questions which have always been asked of homosexuals. seems pretty ridiculous doesnt it?
its meant to be. i dont think it was trolling, but rather an attempt to have the viewer look at the situation from a different perspective. a few of those questions kinda killed the point though, but what can you do...

Originally posted by BackFire
It's obvious satire aimed at those who make antigay arguments, pointing out the always obvious flaws in their statements.

Do people really ask questions like, "Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?"

'Cause that's pretty stupid. As humans, we find a hole and stick it in.

Is that why you call yourself Feceman ? shock

Originally posted by FeceMan
I realized this much...but some of the questions just don't seem to make any sense whatsoever.

Do people really ask questions like, "Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?"

'Cause that's pretty stupid. As humans, we find a hole and stick it in.

While I know you realize that it's satire, the point you raise is a valid one...though, maybe without realizing it.

I know plenty of gay men that don't know what it's like to sleep with a woman. I had a reputation to protect in high school and college, so I experienced it. But, as I have always said...there is something to the "friction of sex".

Originally posted by FeceMan
'Cause that's pretty stupid.

It's flawed. SOME statements can be attributed to heterosexuals but others are just negatory.

Originally posted by Draco69
It's flawed. SOME statements can be attributed to heterosexuals but others are just negatory.

11
14
16
18

All funny though...

Keep in mind that the implication is that these questions are commonly asked directed at homosexuals:
11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?
It seems far more reasonable to me to suggest that people with different reproductive organs won’t know how to please eachother in bed than to suggest that two people with the same organs wouldn’t. I mean, we’ve had our whole lives since adolescence to figure out what feels good for members of our sex, but we have much less time to figure out how to please members of the opposite sex: your first time you have had no experience. In stark contrast, if you’re bedding a member of the same sex for the first time you probably already know what works for you. Yet somehow, opposite sex couples do manage to have a good time: it’s almost like the claim is ridiculous either way.

14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?
16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
I’ve got to be honest: neither of these make the least amount of sense to me whether it’s directed at heterosexuality of homosexuality. If they are indeed often directed at homosexuals (I wouldn’t know, myself) they’d be just as stupid and nonsensical.

18. Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems that s/he would face?
Problems in this case wouldn’t mean discrimination or anything of the like, but in the grand tradition of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, do you really want to condemn a child to the horrors of trying to communicate over the sex-border? Let’s be honest here: most men don’t know how to properly communicate with females, and I’m sure the opposite is true. Then there’s the problems that are directly addressed in earlier questions: problems with intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases, high divorce rates… then there's accidental pregnancies...

You have a point with number 11. Number 18...meh. I don't understand 14 or 16 either. I think number 14 is urging us to experiment. As in bisexually. 16 I think is....I don't know....

Originally posted by FeceMan
Do people really ask questions like, "Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?"

agreed, that question was a point-killer.

i still like the majority of that survey though. a bit of satire can be far more powerful than a thousand lectures

I think the point about #6 is that it is running with the idea that heterosexuality might be odd, from the previously established points.

The joke/premise is quite obvious in any case.

Originally posted by Victor Von Doom
I think the point about #6 is that it is running with the idea that heterosexuality might be odd, from the previously established points.

The joke/premise is quite obvious in any case.

I believe, Draco, that I have a hypothesis on #16. At universities, there tend to be councilling services available: a priority there seems, in my experience, to be helping out people who are, shall we say experiencing new or different urges (this is surely present in private practices as well, but I have no knowledge of those in particulat)? Not sure I can recall the exact term... sexual identity, or something like that. In any case, I imagine that the question may have developed along the lines of a suspicion that if you discuss this issue with a gay therapist, you'll be pushed to be gay.. presumably part of a widespread gay recruitment campaign. Of course, if you're a heterosexual, that's manipulation. On the flip side, then, I imagine someone who is genuinely a homosexual might be (in the same vain of ridiculous questioning) pushed by a heterosexual therapist to "straighten out" if you will. In both cases the behaviour would be unethical when a person is in a vulnerable position like that, and the thought that a therapist has a vested interest in the outcome of such therapy is simply ridiculous.

Originally posted by FeceMan
I found this little "gem" in my meanderings. I'd like to see how KMC reacts to it.

I can't tell if this would be classified as baiting, attempting to make a point, or just being, well, stupid.

You can insert your own adjective into the title. I think 'retarded' fits best.

I have to say that you've made a stupid point by trying to say that the points made were 'retarded'. They're supposed to be nonsensical, and are specifically directed at those who use the same ridiculous views to argue against homosexuality.

What does heterosexual mean? I mean, really? Have you really ever thought about it? I don't think there has ever been a moment when I had to wonder... Am I gay?

And to subject homos to ridiculous questioning like the one's parodied above is just stupid.

Originally posted by Zarathustra
The point is that it doesn't function properly as a parody because while homosexuals are likely to be uncomfortable "coming out", and might in fact be rejected by their peers, the same is not true of heterosexuals. The joke relies on the fact that the question, usually directed at homosexuals, is without valid grounds just as it would be if directed at heterosexuals. In this case, however, it is valid for the one but not the other.

It's positing an alternate reality.

It's crap, though. That's the only criticism that need be levelled.

As most internet-based 'hilarious' lists tend to be.