Dear Santa Letter for Big kids.

Started by Smallville2 pages

Dear Santa Letter for Big kids.

I found this to be rather entertaining. Please try.

Dear Santa Letter

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kevin's Office party. It was Joe who spiked the punch with too much manhattan. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pine.

I thought it was funny when I put Joe's Underwear on my head and danced the Cha cha on the chair while singing `Pour some sugar on me'. I didn't mean to break Kevin's PS2 and don't know why Kevin would accuse me of Murder.

I don't remember calling Steve's wife a Dashing Cow---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kim's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that spaghetti.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Hummer through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a quick Moose and have me arrested for grand theft auto!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Hairy and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this old stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and very yours,
Moosey (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!

🥷 (whats an Adjective ? i forgot) 😮

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Devin's Office party. It was Kevin who spiked the punch with too much rum. I can't help it if I drank 33 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like perminant marker.

I thought it was funny when I put Travis's hat on my head and danced the pop lock on the audimin while singing `The Way you Move'. I didn't mean to break Devin's television and don't know why Devin would accuse me of larceny.

I don't remember calling Gary's wife a lucious pig---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and brown lipstick!

And when I threw up on Amy's husband's back, it was only because I ate too much of that pumpkin.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Suburu Impreza WRX STi through my neighbor's half bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a impetuous stick beetle and have me arrested for Breaking and Entering!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all flirtacious and dirty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this grizzled stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quick yours,
Scotty 2 Hottie (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 13 bucks!

Yours was funny as a me, Moose.

This is mine.

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Stephen's Office party. It was Giseppe who spiked the punch with too much Irn - Bru. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Methane.

I thought it was funny when I put David's Shoes on my head and danced the Tango on the Couch while singing `Strutter'. I didn't mean to break Stephen's iPod and don't know why Stephen would accuse me of Murder.

I don't remember calling Anton's wife a Funny Cow---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Pamela's husband's Hand, it was only because I ate too much of that Mashed Potato.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Train through my neighbor's Bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Smelly Penguin and have me arrested for Rape!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Tasty and Watery. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Small stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Very yours,
Ricardo (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 8 bucks!

Originally posted by Bun Bun
🥷 (whats an Adjective ? i forgot) 😮

The part of speech that modifies a noun or other substantive by limiting, qualifying, or specifying and distinguished in English morphologically by one of several suffixes, such as -able, -ous, -er, and -est, or syntactically by position directly preceding a noun or nominal phrase

Originally posted by Bloigen
This is mine.

...After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Train through my neighbor's Bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Smelly Penguin and have me arrested for Rape!...

Classic. I am crying I am laughing so hard.

Originally posted by Bun Bun
🥷 (whats an Adjective ? i forgot) 😮

An adjective is a word that describes a noun.

Originally posted by DaCanadianMoose
Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kevin's Office party. It was Joe who spiked the punch with too much manhattan. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pine.

I thought it was funny when I put Joe's Underwear on my head and danced the Cha cha on the chair while singing `Pour some sugar on me'. I didn't mean to break Kevin's PS2 and don't know why Kevin would accuse me of Murder.

I don't remember calling Steve's wife a Dashing Cow---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kim's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that spaghetti.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Hummer through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a quick Moose and have me arrested for grand theft auto!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Hairy and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this old stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and very yours,
Moosey (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!

😂 i used 69 too. 😂

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bev's Office party. It was Sara who spiked the punch with too much margaritas. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like lilac.

I thought it was funny when I put Kim's skirt on my head and danced the tango on the couch while singing `Unbelieveable'. I didn't mean to break Bev's computer and don't know why Bev would accuse me of murder.

I don't remember calling Derek's wife a fine chicken---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Rachel's husband's ass, it was only because I ate too much of that taco.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Jaguar through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a fantastic cat and have me arrested for speeding!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hot and sexy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this steamy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
JP (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 10 bucks!

sheesh 😂

Dear Santa Claus..

I want Xbox, give it to me.
I want better porn, give it to me.
I want to be president, make me one.
I want to rule the galaxy, give me spaceplane.
I want everything in the whole wide universe, give it to me.

-Mustafah Bin Laden, (that is me) I have been good boy, now give it all!!!

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mark's Office party. It was Val who spiked the punch with too much Dr. Pepper. I can't help it if I drank 666 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Cookies.

I thought it was funny when I put Chris's Bra on my head and danced the Booty on the Bed while singing `Bump bump bump'. I didn't mean to break Mark's Computer and don't know why Mark would accuse me of Murder.

I don't remember calling Tom's wife a sticky Piggy---even though she looked like one with ORANGE eye shadow and silver lipstick!

And when I threw up on patty's husband's butt, it was only because I ate too much of that Taco.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my viper through my neighbor's room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a huge bird and have me arrested for rape!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all flat and spotted. And I'm really not to blame for any of this bloody stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and really yours,
Jamie (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 2 bucks!

My won't work.. weep

Originally posted by Jedi Priestess
...And when I threw up on Rachel's husband's ass, it was only because I ate too much of that taco.

😆

Yours was funny as a me, Moose.

say what?? 😕

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at John's Office party. It was Jack who spiked the punch with too much shit. I can't help it if I drank 23 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like shit.

I thought it was funny when I put jack's shit on my head and danced the tango on the shit while singing `I'm a little shit'. I didn't mean to break John's shit and don't know why John would accuse me of shit.

I don't remember calling Jack's wife a fuc*ing shit---even though she looked like one with shit eye shadow and shit lipstick!

And when I threw up on Jane's husband's shit, it was only because I ate too much of that shit.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my shit through my neighbor's shit. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a fu*king shit and have me arrested for shit!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all f*cked and shit. And I'm really not to blame for any of this shit stuff. Please bringme what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and fu*king yours,
shit (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 23 bucks!

§P0oONY that letters FAKE!

Que? 😕

Originally posted by §P0oONY
Que? 😕

Admit it!

Originally posted by overlord
Dear Santa Claus..

I want Xbox, give it to me.
I want better porn, give it to me.
I want to be president, make me one.
I want to rule the galaxy, give me spaceplane.
I want everything in the whole wide universe, give it to me.

-Mustafah Bin Laden, (that is me) I have been good boy, now give it all!!!

Someone didn't read the thread before posting. 😱