Most Awkward Sexual Moments in Comic Book History
First Entry
Superman and Batman Cry Over Alien Tentacle Sex
As you probably already know if you've ever taken an Introduction to Comics class, nothing good can come of combining the phrase "tentacle sex" with Batman (it's, like, the first lesson in comics).
Well, someone skipped that class and made a Batman/Superman/tentacle sex comic and -- be prepared to be shocked -- it had nothing to do with Japanese manga. This happened in the official DC universe.
This terribly awkward adventure begins when Superman realizes that he and Batman are both pretty stressed from all that saving-the-world nonsense they do every day, so he invites Batman over for a goddamn sleepover at the Fortress of Solitude to discuss their feelings and have pillow fights and so forth. Batman accepts, because dealing with stressful situations in an emotionally healthy way has always been a trademark of Batman.
We weren't kidding about the whole "discuss their feelings" bit.
Their emotionally naked staring contest is interrupted by a meteor full of aliens, which is a godsend to anyone who didn't want to see Batman and Superman kiss, but total blue balls to that small fringe group that did. The aliens crashed at the Fortress, we learn, because it was currently the most emotionally honest place on the whole planet. In short, Batman and Superman were being so lame that aliens from another planet came just to stop them, and we thank them for it.
At least, we did until it turned out they looked like pineapple dicks.
The tentacle aliens feed off Batman and Superman's emotions like some kind of supercharged Ecstasy and immediately start growing and mating with one another in what will quickly become the epicenter of your darkest nightmares.
Our heroes just kind of stand around, watching the copious amounts of tentacle sex happen and avoiding eye contact with each other for a few minutes, because "watching emotion-snorting tentacles **** each other" is right at the top of the list of Things That Ruin Sleepovers. And then things get weird. The tentacles, which were already pretty dick-like to begin with, grow their own hairy dicks. It's like someone challenged God's apprentice to invent a new animal using only dicks and fear.
"So we're going to die, but we really appreciate you letting us plow each other all over your house. Cannot believe you did that."
The aliens need to feed on emotions to live, but rather than drain all of the emotions out of Earth, they decide to let themselves die, making this the easiest, yet most psychologically scarring, victory in history. Instead of just saying, "Thanks, we appreciate that," Batman and Superman beg the aliens to live and then, in a moment we'd love to erase from history, they cry and hug each other as the tentacle aliens die, along with a little bit of our souls.
Why do the tears fall outside the mask? Better question: What the ****?!
Originally posted by celeyhyga17The answer to this question is best revealed by searching within yourself. 🙂
Is it also true that you survived the previous universe?
Originally posted by Bentley
I think galan means something akin to handsome in spanish?
Originally posted by Damborgson
Handsome/Lady's man
Red Hulk was hitting Abomination with hits so powerful that it was shaking the planet.
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http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/carver9/media/snapshot5_zps05fd7505.jpg.html
Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
No.
Yes.
http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/carver9/media/snapshot2_zps24444695.jpg.html
Originally posted by carver9
Yes.http://s1143.photobucket.com/user/carver9/media/snapshot2_zps24444695.jpg.html
