Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this noob for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad noob. Not like going down to the Unhhosted Section and chasing God-modders and trolls. This Noob, Ruin your Thread. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your Rpers, put all your businesses on a playin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want your RPs to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this thread. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the typing fingers, the whole damn thing.
You see, the idea was the noob come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that noob he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that noob looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a noob is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'.
Stop the infectious spread of the Noob-Virus, Spade and Neuter your Noobs.