I just got back from the strangest trip of my entire life. I went back there, the last place I could have honestly thought of him as a friend. I hadn't been there since March of last year, right after I had returned from Italy. The last time I was in Arizona, I was uneasy, worried, trembling. There were signs ever where to remind me of him, A statue, a Road Sign. It was hard enough to deal with them the first time.
Now I went back, and saw it all over again, the sign the statue. I half expected them to be gone, as gone as he is. So many wounds reopened, so many memories swarmed. I can't believe how hard it hit me, and knowing that I'll never talk to him again. I guess he's what broke me, what made me how I am now. I can't forgive myself for what I did to him, I don't think I ever will. I will always feel the same as this statue...
