Revernd Maynard
Cummin Soon
how many of your threads are going to start off with "Oh man"
๐
i have a story for you
08 - Rosetta Stoned
alrighty then
picture this if you will
10 to 2 AM
and actually eating up an old box of Krispy Kremes
and my need-to-know potion.
I was just outside Area 51
contemplating the whole chosen peopleย thing
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like, wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled a diamond sundae
or something wet on my Birkenstocks
and [you're yelping]
Holy ****ing shit
then the x-file beings who were like
some kind of blue-grey [Jackie Chan]
with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked
[Theyre wicked-shot terrorists all by making the sound]
abananadabanana so when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my sweaty lower and upper lip
and all I could think was
I hope that my partner here doesn't notice
that I pissed my ****ing pants
So alive in this way
Like an apparition
you have me crying out
**** me
It's got to be
dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got
On top of me
got me seeing
E mother-****ing T
and after calming me down with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning
the ET revealed to me his singular purpose
he said you are the chosen one
the one who'll deliver the message
a message of hope for those who chose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not
me, the chosen one, they chose me
and I didn't graduate from ****ing high school
You had better...
You had better...
You had better...
You had better listen
when he looked right through me
with somniferous almond eyes
don't even know what that means
must remember to write it down
This is surreal
Like the time they floated away
See, my heart is pounding
Cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now
it was surreal
like I woke up in Wonderland
all sort of terrifying
I don't want to be all alone
when I tell the story
and can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
will I ever be coming down
this is surreal
finally it's my lucky day
see my heart is racing
cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now
You believe me don't you
Please believe what I just said
See they're telling the truth
And this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
and invited me right in
then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down my bed
feet cold, eyes red
I'm out my head
am I alive am I dead
can't remember what they said
god damn shit the bed
hey hey
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position
such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to (bear and read to) all the details of our ending
to write it down for all the world to see
but I forgot my pen shit the bed again
typical
strapped down to my bed
feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
am I alive am I dead
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
won't help the brain dead
can't remember what they said
don't know, oh no
god damn shit the bed