Maniac Pt 1

This poem is called undead love and is what it says I would like comments on it please with that we will begin

thus our story begins, In a surburban city two lovebirds tell eachother of their feelings, yet to know the horror that
leads before them

I.lovebirds

Tonight I want you In my arms,
to hold to cherish, to tell I love....like the dove in the pond, the leaf in the tree...apparently so your the one for me
------
a black cloud appears over the couple, in the background everything dies (trees, plants) all greenery bleeds with black blood
the couple snuggling do not notice the whord of zombies behind them, the male trys to protect the female with a tree branch

II.The zombies attack

death be gone when I'm around, otherwise I'l act as the hound devouring your organs to shreds, yes I may look
dangerous but dont take the chance with me, I shall conquer thy sword with thy organ grinding glove and you wont be happy

the female watches the male get devoured by the zombies, and does not seem to care
as she makes her escape only a tug on her shoulder followed
------
III.The undead heartbroken

You once were my love now your my meat, food that I must preach for...scrounge for rip apart like the death I tryed to protect
you from...but in the end it was me who needed protecting from you...the heartless whore.....I once did cherish but now I moan,groan
possibly hone my skills for the next melee of scratch and find, yes I have caught you now ripping your limbs apart, the blood that I hunger
the food that keeps me alive....

the female gets devoured and everywhere is dead, dead as can be, not calm nor frantic this surburban city was destined
to be wrecked and ruined from the hallwoing halls of hell as this place was too good to be true.And with that this story ends
the male in this story got his revenge but was dead was this really enjoyment or "revenge" well........go on then ask me ****

!the end?

Originally posted by luffyjin
This poem is called undead love and is what it says I would like comments on it please with that we will begin

thus our story begins, In a surburban city two lovebirds tell eachother of their feelings, yet to know the horror that
leads before them

I.lovebirds

Tonight I want you In my arms,
to hold to cherish, to tell I love....like the dove in the pond, the leaf in the tree...apparently so your the one for me
------
a black cloud appears over the couple, in the background everything dies (trees, plants) all greenery bleeds with black blood
the couple snuggling do not notice the whord of zombies behind them, the male trys to protect the female with a tree branch

II.The zombies attack

death be gone when I'm around, otherwise I'l act as the hound devouring your organs to shreds, yes I may look
dangerous but dont take the chance with me, I shall conquer thy sword with thy organ grinding glove and you wont be happy

the female watches the male get devoured by the zombies, and does not seem to care
as she makes her escape only a tug on her shoulder followed
------
III.The undead heartbroken

You once were my love now your my meat, food that I must preach for...scrounge for rip apart like the death I tryed to protect
you from...but in the end it was me who needed protecting from you...the heartless whore.....I once did cherish but now I moan,groan
possibly hone my skills for the next melee of scratch and find, yes I have caught you now ripping your limbs apart, the blood that I hunger
the food that keeps me alive....

the female gets devoured and everywhere is dead, dead as can be, not calm nor frantic this surburban city was destined
to be wrecked and ruined from the hallwoing halls of hell as this place was too good to be true.And with that this story ends
the male in this story got his revenge but was dead was this really enjoyment or "revenge" well........go on then ask me ****

!the end?

thankyou hehe was thinking of it while listening to vampire love by Ash

😕

Originally posted by justjakk
so you say 2 young americans were getting their groove on whilst zombies made their way through a death-filled landscape..the dude tries to save the chick for later bumping, but was killed by the zombies..the girl just ran off, only to be caught by the dude (now zombie) and is devoured by him....kool....try adding more to the love scene and maybe freeverse it all where the naration is also the poem and not a side story, and it will tie together a little more clean...all in all it was interesting...

😐 lol cool weird but its gd

I was aiming for weird and shocking, did I hit the marker 😛

Great poem!

I appeared here a mute,

With no Identity, no originality

Like an empty space In time,

But I will fight for whats right,

Killing all your twisted rhyme,

Your sickness will grow,

And so will my endurance,

Prepare to meet your match,

As I draw thy sword,

And disconnect you,

Comments please.....

hehe, check out my other poem that I just posted

BUMP THE CHUMP 😉!

This Is a 4 part poem here Is the first part:

I thought we were merged In love,

till that day I saw you kissing him,

the fact that a gun was In my hand was neither a coincidence or on purpose,

when I shot him I got back what you took from me,

hes dead and you are too,

Im not a maniac,

I swear Its not true.

pretty good.

Back with more you say? Oh yess 😄, this poem is called fire of my head.

Fire of my head,

Can't sleep in my bed,

I'm breaking up inside,

No matter how much I cry,

Or try to hide,

My depression finds me,

And executes me,

Truly for me,

My life ended in profanity.

Cool vary nice ^.^

Flippin awesome poems dude. Good job 😄

Originally posted by Weeping Fairy
Flippin awesome poems dude. Good job 😄

Thankyou, I'm back =D. My new poem Is called Gangster Updraught, please comment !!

Too much bass,

Deadly tanned face,

Neon cars,

Women wearing no bra's,

But something isn't right,

Something Isn't clean,

The glean in the neon ego becoming smeared and black,

Gangster Updraught

It seems moral consequence is back,

Fingers of ash and brimstone,

Neon fading,

Gangster updraught,

As all the ****ed up shit starts,

Maiming bystanders,

What you know about that?

Too much suffering,

It's a small world after all,

Just make sure your neon doesen't blind your fall