Originally posted by Fated Xtasy
👆It's kind of liberating isn't it?
After interpreting that bad part of a mostly good LSD trip, I don't regret it, I needed to understand that dark side of humanity, needed to question my reason for living on a fundamental level, and came out with a deeper understanding of the world, etc.
At the time it was the worst thing I ever experienced, that disconnection from the world, the terror, longing, guilt, loneliness, shame and confusion of not being able to justify my own existence and realizing just how much of a negative impact my life has the potential to have. Questioning why I deserved to exist when my existence on a fundamental level imposes itself on the lives of others was the most horrible feeling of my life when I didn't know the answer, but with the help of my best friend I realized that love is what allows us to take our impacts on other people's lives and turn it into a positive thing, to transcend our flaws, and that amidst this imperfect world with so much pain and confusion, love is the one thing I've consistently been to rely on, and I now have this inner peace upon realizing my faith in love isn't misplaced.
And seeing and experiencing that love, understanding how it gives our existences meaning, and how our lives give the universe meaning, without which the universe would have no reason for existing and therefore wouldn't exist, and how love allows us to transcend a previous lesser nature, which seems to be the goal of our lives, I view this love, this connection, as a transcendent force that not only goes beyond the physical universe, but justifies it. That's where my personal faith in God comes from, my faith in humanity comes from, and where my faith in myself comes from.