Random things from Random Profiles

Star Wars
The Matrix
Lord of the Rings
Rat Race
Terminator
Indiana Jones
Pirates of the Caribbean
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Hero
Spiderman
Spiderman 2
Xmen
Blade
Blade 2
Blade 3
Batman Begins
Saving Private Ryan
Predator
Robots
Gladiator
Back to the Future
Ghostbusters
The Transporter
Friday After Next
Underworld
Equilibrium
Willow
Labyrinth
Saw
Saw 2
Mr and Mrs Smith
Meet the Parents
Meet the Fockers
Bean: The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Unleashed

Anything with swords.....mmm...pointy...
And lightsabers....mmm....OWW...hot.....

Note to self: DONT touch the lightsaber again.

Favorite Movie Stars

Darth Vader!
Darth Maul!
w0000000t!!!!

Oh hell, anyone who's been in a Star Wars movie. Yes, even the unpaid extras.
And the props. And the bluescreen.

And the guy who brings out food and drinks..

And the guy who brings HIM food and drinks....

And the funny little stars on the doors of the actors with their names on it....

But most of all I like chocolate......what were we talking about again?

Favorite Movie Quote

Darth Vader: "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force" - ANH

Emperor Palpatine: "Oh.. I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive..." - ROTJ

Puppet: "Touch your tongue to mine" - Thumb Wars

"What did one poor person say to the other poor person? Who cares!" - Tumbtanic

Peter: "Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?"
Brian: "That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible."
Peter: "Wrong, the ugly one!" - Family Guy

Peter:"Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog" - Family Guy

Peter: "That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy. " - Family Guy

Lady: "Thank god you know CPR!"
Quagmire: "What the hell is CPR?" - Family Guy

Fender: "Speak of the the devil, here I come" - Robots

Ron: "Piss off" - Goblet Of Fire

Stewie: "Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!" - Family Guy

Stewie - "How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off." - Family Guy

Stewie (part 2) - "Oh I know it hurts now Brian, but look at the bright side: you have some new material for that novel you've been writing. You know...the novel you've been workin' on? You know the the one, uh, you've been workin on for three years? You know the novel. Got somethin' new to write about now. You know? Maybe a, maybe a main character gets into a relationship and suffers a little heartbreak? Somethin' like what... what you've just been through? Draw from real life experience? Little, little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story? Make the characters a little more three dimensional? Little, uh, richer experience for the reader? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? (Voice returns to normal.) Oh, I look forward to reading it." - Family Guy

Quagmire: "Giggity giggity giggity giggity.."
Guy: "Dude, put your pants back on!"
Quagmire: "Hey shut up!" - Family Guy

Quagmire: "My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggiydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry." - Family Guy

Dr Cox: "Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out." - Scrubs

J.D.: "Look, Dr. Cox, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I honestly think the only reason that you're not down at that hospital right now is that... you're afraid."
Dr. Cox: "I think you're right, I do. It's partly because you've gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's that well... I told you I was afraid earlier today... so please don't tell me you've come to reiterate things that I've already said, because I know the things that I've already said, in fact... I'm the one who said them. "

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
My Sig has something stolen from a profile in it.

B!tchdisgust

Originally posted by Mišt
Get out of my profilemhm

First you take me off you $4 list, then I get out of your profile... mhm

then we party 😄

w00t

One things kids like
Is to be tricked
For instance
I was going to take my little nephew to disney land
But instead i took him to a old burnt down wearhouse
Oh know i said,
Disney land burnt down
He cried and cried
But i think deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke
I started to drive over to the real disney land
But it was getting pretty late.

Originally posted by Kosta
First you take me off you $4 list, then I get out of your profile... mhm

then we party 😄

How about we just skip to the partying?hmm

Originally posted by NineCoronas
Something tells me your vagina is no longer intact after being speared by VV.

Originally posted by taft
One things kids like
Is to be tricked
For instance
I was going to take my little nephew to disney land
But instead i took him to a old burnt down wearhouse
Oh know i said,
Disney land burnt down
He cried and cried
But i think deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke
I started to drive over to the real disney land
But it was getting pretty late.

I like to work hard and party hard, for now.

😆

Oh My God.

So Much.

#1Tonight I learned yet another helpful life lesson from one of my patients. If you're on the street corner selling coke and you see the cops coming to bust you don't eat all your coke.

#3 Always pay your drug dealer! Bad things happen when you don't pay.

#5: Stay away from people named "Some Guy" or "This One Dude", because they for whatever reason, just punch someone in the face or hit them with a crowbar and run off. If I see them on the street, I cross the street to get away from them.

#6 Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

#13 Latex paint, despite being thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide the same relief as pepto bismol.

#14 If you own a horse named thunder, flash, psycho, or reaper, do not get within 20 feet, and don't even think of just taking them for a quick ride.

#19 If you are going to get into a fight, and have a prosthetic eye, make sure you take it out first.....and, for safe keeping, shove it up your vagina.....the, realize that you cannot get it out and go to the ED for removal (happened to one of the guys in my residency).

No matter how tough you are, don't cross the street when you are drunk because the moving vehicle always wins.

If you have taken 7 home pregnancy tests that are all positive, and you come into the emergency department...chances are that test too will come back positive.

#24 The Law of Inverse Value: the less you contribute to society, the greater the trauma you can sustain with minimal to no physical sequelae, including falls from 3 stories, stabbings (chest, neck, head, slashings to the face), gunshot wounds (chest, neck, pelvis, leg, traumatic arrest (only to be killed 7 years later in a separate GSW incident)), and high speed MVC's, unrestrained, where multiple people in the other vehicle are killed.

#34 No matter how badly constipated you are, a vodka enema is not a good idea.

Drinking Pine Sol diluted in a 5 gallon bucket, shared with 5 friends, is not a good way to get drunk.

#36 Do not suck on snake bite so that you can spread the venom to MORE parts of your body....

#37 18 year old kids absolutely need new Audis-- especially the kind with the DVD player built into the dashboard so that they can watch "the fast and the furious" while driving along a windy road at say, 3am. the best thing to say (if you are an 18 year old driver of such a car) is "hey, watch my car handle this turn" as you careen into a tree. (unrestrained driver had not one but TWO spiral femur fractures in the same leg. his foot was pointed backwards). tree survived with minor scratches.

#42 Oh if you come in with a salsa jar in your rectum, don't give the staff a fruit cake as a thank you present.

#46 When attempting a self-circumcision do not use dry ice to numb the area... and when the dry ice sticks to the... a.... area, do not attempt to remove the ice with boiling water.

#48 If your dentures do not stick to your gums, probably not a good idea to superglue them on!

If the doctor asks you if it hurts where he is touching you, and he is NOT TOUCHING YOU, don't answer that he is hurting you.

#50 "If you get bit by a stray dog then be sure and go home, get your gun, and shoot five different stray dogs because you could not remember which one it was that bit you. Then be sure to bring all five dogs to the Emergency Room so that we can test them for rabies."

#57 When your 15yo daughter gives precipitous delivery to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting to triage c "gas pains", you should run around the department loudly yelling, "I don't know what y'all did or who that baby is, but my lil' girl warn't pregnant when she come in here"

#84 If you are in police custody and are brought to the ED for evaluation, do not go to the bathroom then try to escape through the ceiling, because the styrofoam ceiling will probably collapse at some point and the NYPD standing outside the bathroom door might notice your bare behind, scantiliy covered by the hospital gown, hanging out of the ceiling.

#89 If you're a 13 year old girl with a long arm, fiberglass cast on it's totally OK to go swimming at the beach (she didn't even try the usless bag with duct tape trick). When your dripping, sand filled cast starts to itch be sure to use a bent coat hanger to pull out all the cast padding. Since that won't work (I swear I'm not making this up) go ahead and pour salt down the cast on the assumption that it will soak up the water. Once your arm is a red, macerated mess come on down to the ED.
Aside from the stupidity of this course of action this girl also had a weird affect so I asked if she was developmentally delayed. This thoroughly annoyed the girl and her mother but the dad said, "Well I can see why you might think that but no."

#116 If you call EMS because your husband has collapsed on the floor it might be a good idea to mention that he did this 2 days prior. Should you let this minor point slip your mind try not to attack various members of the responding agency because they are not saving his life

#150 Windex, Hairspray, Acetone, Ajax are not as delicious as they sound.

#162 don't hold the log you are cutting with a chainsaw in your dominant hand......

#174 Doc: Have you had any other illnesses?
Pt: Just smiling mighty Jesus.
Doc: You mean you've never been sick before?
Pt: (Looks at Doc like she's crazy) Oh no, I was REALLY sick with that smiling mighty Jesus!
.... she had had spinal meningitis.

#193 Despite popular belief...coat hangers are not a cure for constipation
Fast track to intubation: fall asleep in the ER with an empty bottle of lortab in your hand

#201 If somehow a ping pong ball should make its way into your rectum and you cannot retieve it, do not mix yourself a cement enema--as this will only make your problems worse.

(I did not see this in person, but saw the radiograph. the hardened cement block was removed under anesthesia.)

#260
After you bring your 775 lb body to the ED to w/u a foul odor from your rectum and upon examination (with one person holding up the left buttocks with all his might) a lost television remote is found abscessed inside your gluteal fold, by all means, ask if you can have it back because you were tired of changing channels with your cane and by throwing objects at the television. Really, there is no need to question just how or why the remote is there....

#263
After you fall and hit your head on the ice while trying to dig your car out of a snow bank by all means get angry and wedge your snowbrush on the gas peddle while you dig out the rear tires and then act amazed when you get run over by your own car.

#291
If you are 13 and feeling....experimental....Don't use the dish hose from the sink as your ambassador to rectal pleasure. If you do, the spring-loaded handle thingy will open after you shove it up past the anus, making it impossible to get out.

Furthermore, it will be difficult to explain to your step-father when he discovers you how you became 'tethered' to the sink by the dish hose.

You'll have to have it surgically removed. And I'm betting nobody will volunteer to do the dishes ever again...

#341
if you are early in the 3rd trimester and desperate for nookie, don't try to pleasure yourself with a ketsup bottle. the cap will get stuck inside. don't then try to fish it out with your toothbrush because you will rupture your membranes and induce labor........

#397
If you happen to be driving drunk and feeling that you can't stay awake anymore, you shouldn't turn off your lights when you park in the middle of the interstate to take your nap.

#400
Also, If your boyfriend is driving drunk and you are drunk it is not a good idea to hang your head out the window to puke while doing 80mph down the road. When he gets to close to a phone pole, the impact on your head will rip your body right out of the window

#408
If you have been sitting on your leg for more than an hour watching TV and it feels like pins and needles, you are having a massive stroke and need to call EMS right away

#412
An unconscious 30-year-old man was brought to the ER by ambulance. His girlfriend had found him lying naked on the floor of his bathroom and called 911. In the ER, he was found to have a large lump on the top of his head and, strangely, several scratches on his scrotum. The doctors figured the lump was possibly caused by a fall or a knock to the head. However the source of the scratches remained a mystery until he woke up and provided the doctors with the following explanation. He said he had been cleaning his bathtub while naked, kneeling on the floor beside the tub. His cat, apparently transfixed by the rhythmic swaying of his scrotum, lunged forward, sinking its claws into this pendulous target. This caused the man to rocket upward, striking his head on the top frame of the shower door.

#417
If you are 17 and very drunk and are brought to the ER with a face that looks like hamburger and an upper lip that needs to be put back together, please just say you got into a fight. We would prefer not to know that someone bet you $20 that you couldn't punch yourself unconscious (and you won)..

#488
Don't straddle an old tire as you try to see how much air it can hold - you will be blown 10 feet into the air and left with half as much scrotum as you started with.

#694
Do not let your kid but a live gerbil in their mouth however much they want to.

#696
When you come in for your well-woman exam, please remove the bag of marijuana from your vagina beforehand.

#756
Craft glue is not to be used as a sexual aide, mmmkay?

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut
Wedding Crashers
Hitch
The Hot Chick
My Baby’s Daddy
O Brother Where Art Thou
Guess Who
Pirates of the Caribbean

The Crow
Saw
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Final Destination
Interview with the Vampire
Thir13en Ghost
The Ring

Gladiator
Troy
X-Men
Blade
Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions
The Fast and the Furious
Kill Bill: Vol. 1
House of Flying Daggers

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
The Lion king
Finding Nemo
Spirited Away

Brokedown Palace
Lost and Delirious

Butterfly Effect

Originally posted by Lana
I had no idea you liked anime.

Knock FMA off that list (can't stand that anime) and it's a pretty damn good one ✅

I love my anime 😄. Slowly building a collection... or attmepting to 😛.

You dont like FMA? Bummer. I liked it straight away. Problem is I havent seen past season one... need to get the new ones off my friend.

FMA Is great.

So is Naruto, Inuyasha, Gundam Seed, WHR, *Contiunes on for like 5 minutes*

I hate Naruto in the Naruto show though, what an annoying little ****.

AOL Instant Messenger Handle: o.O
Yahoo Instant Messenger Handle: O.o
MSN Instant Messenger Handle: Ask and I shall tell you.

Originally posted by Leo.M
AOL Instant Messenger Handle: o.O
Yahoo Instant Messenger Handle: O.o
MSN Instant Messenger Handle: Ask and I shall tell you.

(Be advised that the movie is extremely poor quality, but hey, you get to see it. FREE!)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Darkc!

My profile is comparatively boring...

Mine is rather exciting 😖hifty:

Unknown Movie...... Okay, i forgot the name

Some guy: So when's the baby due?
Some lady: What baby?
Some guy: Oh
Some lady: WHAT BABY?
I see… just coz I’m big you all of a sudden you think I’m pregnant

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective:

If I'm not back in five minutes ... wait longer!

Airplane:

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut:

Heeeeeyyy satan... LETS F.UCK!

The Addams Family:

Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious

Sorority Boys:
Doofer/Roberta: I’m addicted to porn and I masturbate constantly.

Total Posts: 9305