I think who, because who a person is in the inside is whats most important, rather the just what they look like, their race, and where they come from. A lot of times i will make first judgments on a person because of just how they look, but i may see them in a totally different light because i got see who they are in the inside.
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Which Question is most important to you, before getting to know a person, and how come ?[B]Who
- thier name, thier character, thier personality, their identity.What- thier race, ethnicity, size, body type, any other classification you can think of.
Where- from what country or town are they from? What kind of family do they derive from? What is thier origin and background?
Why- Why should you even bother getting to know that person?
Answer to the best of your ability, if all are important, explain why? What is your preference, What is the first question you ask yourself ? [/B]
Before getting to know a person.
Logical, unbiased, thoughts:
Who seems to be a "after getting to know a person" attribute. Other than name/identity you cannot get this information without getting to know a person.
Where seems similar. Before getting to know a person this information would be deduced from the what, and so what would be in precedence to where.
It seems to me that what and why are the only two a priori items. If the meeting is prearranged then why would be the question of import. If the meeting is happenstance then what would be a predeterminant to why. So what would seem to have the largest amount of import.
Personal, education/experience, thoughts:
I personally believe that what is the most important. Race and ethnicity are irrelevant unless there were some racial/ethnic bias on the part of the subject. Appearance is possibly the most important due to classical conditioning. No matter your desire to like/dislike an individual you will be biased by previous experience. Everything about preference is built in due to familiarity.
Also, appearance describes a person. If a person is overweight, it is probable that that person is not a physically active individual and it is also probable that the person is physically lazy. If a person is unkempt, they do not care extremely for others impression of them, and thus probably do not care about others, or at the very least something comes before others and that person, often an obsession. Or perhaps unkempt just means lazy. I believe in aiding the poor and needy, but a person unkempt in a unclean manner is not someone I am going to rush to get to know. more examples exist, but it seems unnecessary to describe them.
If I do not find an individual to be attractive, male or female, I will have less of a drive to get to know them. Problem is you will become like those you spend much of your time with. Often attractive qualities accompany other behaviors, and/or social status, that one finds attractive. Besides, I believe that everyone prefers to be around those one would not mind becoming intimate with, even if oneself is not interested in becoming intimate with that individual.
Bottom line, level of physical attraction probably drives most relationships initially.
Originally posted by Regret
Also, appearance describes a person. If a person is overweight, it is probable that that person is not a physically active individual and it is also probable that the person is physically lazy. If a person is unkempt, they do not care extremely for others impression of them, and thus probably do not care about others, or at the very least something comes before others and that person, often an obsession. Or perhaps unkempt just means lazy. I believe in aiding the poor and needy, but a person unkempt in a unclean manner is not someone I am going to rush to get to know. more examples exist, but it seems unnecessary to describe them.If I do not find an individual to be attractive, male or female, I will have less of a drive to get to know them. Problem is you will become like those you spend much of your time with. Often attractive qualities accompany other behaviors, and/or social status, that one finds attractive. Besides, I believe that everyone prefers to be around those one would not mind becoming intimate with, even if oneself is not interested in becoming intimate with that individual.
Bottom line, level of physical attraction probably drives most relationships initially.
I agree that physical appearance is probably the first thing most people care about when meeting a new person.
I disagree strongly that physical appearance describes the person.
1) A Fat person: Can be fat for other reasons than laziness of lack of excersize. Some people are fat due to genetics, and have to work out a lot more than other people to be thin. Everyone's body works differently. There are MANY skinny people who are lazy, there are many attractive people who are also lazy.
2) A person who is unkempt one day does not mean they are unkempt every day. For example, I gel my hair all the time, i work out 4 days a week, i shave every other day....but sometimes i look like crap, somedays i will not do such a thing either cuz i am tired, sick, or just dont feel like it. You can meet a person on the "wrong day" that does not determine who they are. Just because a person is unkempt does not mean they do not care about others, IN FACT there are people who are so physically polished and look dazzling, yet they only care about themselves.......
I agree with the fact that biases play a HUGE role in our intepretations of people and desires to assossiate.
But I disagree that a person's physical appearance can be a reliable way to determine what kind of person they are.
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
I agree that physical appearance is probably the first thing most people care about when meeting a new person.I disagree strongly that physical appearance describes the person.
1) [B]A Fat person:
Can be fat for other reasons than laziness of lack of excersize. Some people are fat due to genetics, and have to work out a lot more than other people to be thin. Everyone's body works differently. There are MANY skinny people who are lazy, there are many attractive people who are also lazy.2) A person who is unkempt one day does not mean they are unkempt every day. For example, I gel my hair all the time, i work out 4 days a week, i shave every other day....but sometimes i look like crap, somedays i will not do such a thing either cuz i am tired, sick, or just dont feel like it. You can meet a person on the "wrong day" that does not determine who they are. Just because a person is unkempt does not mean they do not care about others, IN FACT there are people who are so physically polished and look dazzling, yet they only care about themselves.......
I agree with the fact that biases play a HUGE role in our intepretations of people and desires to assossiate.
But I disagree that a person's physical appearance can be a reliable way to determine what kind of person they are. [/B]
I wasn't stating absolutes. I also did not state that appearance was a reliable means of determining what kind of person they were. I only stated that it is a means, and probably the most used means, used by most people to decide if they will get to know another person. Yes, some overweight people are not lazy, and their weight is due to genetics or something else. Yes appearance does not necessarily mean a person has certain behavioral manners. I was answering the question.
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Which Question is most important to you, before getting to know a person, and how come?
While these statements are not absolute, they do play a major role in the "before getting to know a person" phase. Probability is that the unkempt person or the overweight person does have a behavior that I do not appreciate. Everyone has appearance cued responses that will either decrease or increase the probability that someone else will approach and get to know them. The effects these cues have are often due to a perception of behavioral mannerisms. I am not incorrect in saying that if a person is overweight they are probably not very physically active. I am not incorrect in assuming that on first contact an unkempt appearance will probably give the impression I described. Whether or not a person really is this way is unimportant to the question. We are speaking about prior to getting to know a person, not following getting to know.
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
Which Question is most important to you, before getting to know a person, and how come ?
[B]Who- thier name, thier character, thier personality, their identity.
What- thier race, ethnicity, size, body type, any other classification you can think of.
Where- from what country or town are they from? What kind of family do they derive from? What is thier origin and background?
Why- Why should you even bother getting to know that person?
[/B]
"Before getting to know a person..."
If it's a nonsexual situation: why.
If it's a romantic/sexual possibility: what.