Ten reasons for staying single
Ten reasons for staying single
For the lazy...(like me)
Reason #1: You have a better body.
We’ve all been there—you get into a relationship, and suddenly you’re trying out new recipes all the time and cuddling instead of exercising. Well, things tend to get worse with marriage. A recent Cornell University study found that women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of marriage and unhappily married women gain an average of 54 pounds in the first 10 years.
For the unmarried, though, the motivation to stay slim remains: “Singles look at themselves through the eyes of others and want to be attractive to potential partners,” says Susan Davis, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City, “so they’re still ‘working on themselves.’” In short, being single is way better than any New Year’s resolution or exercise DVD to motivate you to stay in shape.
Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great things.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have the time, the quiet and the lack of familial responsibilities. In fact, your premarital motivation to excel in life may be biologically programmed. According to a study conducted at the London School of Economics and Political Scientists, male scientists who stay single longer peak in their careers later in life and tend to be more productive than their married counterparts. Researchers theorize that men, in general, may show off their talents to win the interest of women and then, once they’ve won a wife, get comfortable and do less. In fact, studies have shown that testosterone levels, which boost action, decrease after a man gets married and has children. So single folk should know they are primed to achieve — whether that means turbo-charging their careers or honing their rock-climbing skills — and get out there and work it!
Reason #3: You do less housework.
You know that saying about a tree falling in a forest and there’s no one there to hear it? Well, if you leave a sock on the floor but there’s no one else there to see it, does it really need to be picked up? If you’re a single woman, you can contemplate deep questions like this one because you have more free time. According to one study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, women do less housework when single than when married. Men, on the other hand, do more housework when unmarried (that’s probably because there’s someone picking up after them once they’re wed…). So the message here is for unmarried women to enjoy their less chore-filled life; fill those free hours with classes, good books, blabbing with friends—whatever makes you happy.
Reason #4: You can do what you want with your money—including keep it.
Go ahead: Splurge on that pricey moisturizer or that obscenely large plasma TV you’ve been lusting after. You don’t have to justify your purchase to anyone but yourself. Once you mix money with marriage, though, things change—and fast. According to a survey by SmartMoney magazine, 40 percent of women and 36 percent of men have lied to their spouses about a purchase. “When you’re single, your finances are your own,” explains Phyllis Chase, a Los Angeles–based psychologist and co-host of the radio show Shrink Rap. “When you’re married, you have to deal with different styles of spending and saving, and you may take on your partner’s debt.” And a marriage that doesn’t make it for the long haul can also have a major negative effect on one’s wealth. According to researchers at Ohio State University’s Center for Human Resource Research, during a divorce, men and women generally lose three-fourths of their personal net worth. Double ouch.
Reason #5: You have better sex.
Married couples may have more sex (approximately 98 times a year vs. singles’ 49), but singles have better sex. According to a recent study published in the British Medical Journal, married women are significantly more likely to report problems with their sex lives than single women. “People who are dating have better sex because it’s novel,” says Davis. “Married people have to relearn how to play. It’s natural for singles because that’s the nature of a courting relationship—they tease, they experiment, they explore.” Nature lends a helping hand, too. According to researchers at the University of Pisa in Italy, raging testosterone levels in both men and women makes the sex hotter during the first two years of a relationship. After that, other hormones take over—most notably, oxytocin, a bonding chemical, kicks in. While getting connected and comfortable is a positive step in a relationship, long-term lovers have to work harder to keep things hot in the bedroom. Singles, however, sizzle just the way they are.
Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
While snuggling up next to a warm body can be pretty fantastic, according to a survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation, your bedmate can cause you to lose an average of 49 minutes of sleep per night. Sleeping two-to-a-bed just isn’t as restful as snoozing solo. Other studies confirm that singles generally get more rest — seven to eight hours of sleep a night — than marrieds, which enhances memory, mood and concentration, as well as allows your immune system to recharge. And, according to scientists at the University of Luebeck in Germany, creativity and problem-solving may directly correlate with getting enough sleep. In the study, participants were given a math puzzle; those who’d had eight hours of sleep or more before tackling it were three times more likely to get the right answer than those who slept less. So, singles, revel in the fact that you’re alert, rested and have that extra brain-power edge.
Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
Although the media often perpetuates the image of single people being down in the dumps, overall unmarried people tend to be happier than their married counterparts—if you’re a woman, that is. One report by the World Health Organization indicated that married women, especially ones with children, have a higher risk for depression than single women, and researchers at the University of London found that single women generally have fewer mental-health issues. “Marriage, in many ways, seems to benefit men more than women,” says Davis. “For women, there’s more of a loss of self.” And, of course, today’s women often feel like they need to do it all—have a career, take care of the kids and perform other traditionally “female” responsibilities. “People who aren’t married are still investing in themselves,” says Davis. “It’s not selfish—it’s giving to yourself, and that’s something married people can learn from single people.”
Reason #8: You have better friendships.
Significant others are a wonderful thing, no doubt, but friends count, too. And on that front, one study found that, when women get married and have children, they spend much less time with their friends—less than five hours a week, down from 14 hours. Singles, however, often have the greatest sense of friendship and community—which can actually decrease stress levels, according to researchers at UCLA.
Here's another way to look at this: “Singles don’t rely on just one person to meet their needs. You don’t automatically know who you’re going to spend Friday night with,” says Sasha Cagen, author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. “The plus side is that you have a lot of different people in your life and potentially a greater sense of social possibilities.”
Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
Marrieds take the most vacations, dominating the market with 62 percent of all trips taken, but singles arguably go on more interesting trips. According to the Travel Industry Association of America, singles corner the adventure-travel market, engaging in activities like whitewater rafting, scuba diving and mountain biking. Being single and relatively footloose certainly allows you to expand your geographical — and personal — borders. “I have lived abroad, backpacked for close to a year, have been in love three times and much more,” says Courtney Davis, 27, a media-relations manager in Boston. “With every place and every person, my world has expanded.”
Reason #10: You know yourself—and what you want out of a relationship.
You’re a better catch now than you were at 20. You may have signs of, ahem, experience etched on your face, but that’s OK because you’re more interesting and more self-aware. Not only have you grown as a person, but you’ve probably been through the ringer a few times in matters of love and now know what you want—and what you don’t. Experts say that bodes well for future marital success and may actually decrease the likelihood of divorce. “When people get married young, they often feel like the other person will complete them, and they have trouble moving past that Hollywood myth,” explains Chase. “But maturity brings so much, because if you’re able to communicate who you are and what you want, the better your chances of having a successful marriage.” And that’s a wonderful message: Your single self is great... and should you find the right person and decide to marry, you’re more likely to thrive in that stage of your life, too.
Hmmm, well there are certainly pros and cons of both being in a relationship and being single. And apparently there is a growing sub culture of people who have casual relationships but a large base of friends - so single but with company. I don't mind being alone, but I do enjoy the significant relationships I have.
Reason #1: You have a better body.
Thank goodness I am a happy man then ( 😛 )
Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great things.
I find this kind of true - yes time and all that really does help if your single. But then I enjoy having something (or someone) to dedicate great things to - other then myself (my ego and self-esteem are great enough as they are)
Reason #3: You do less housework.
I actually *like* cleaning.
Reason #4: You can do what you want with your money—including keep it.
Actually I agree with this. But there is only so much a person can buy for themselves (and it is nice to use money on another.)
Reason #5: You have better sex.
...Ok.
Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
... Ok. Still, I figure I have enough smarts to be able to handle a slight drop.
Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
I know people who this is true for, but then I am a very happy person, so once again I guess I could take a slight hit to my happiness level without any serious side effects.
Reason #8: You have better friendships.
I know people who this is true for as well. It is remarkable how many people have trouble balancing responsibilities to both partner and friends (or the people who put friends before partner)
Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
Kind of true actually.
Reason #10: You know yourself—and what you want out of a relationship.
Does my ancient bones (note, they are actually young) good to hear.
I read that and I almost cried. These were some of the things I kept sacered when I was single, and Im not single anymore, and i was for a second begining to miss all of those things. cry
But I guess that was written for married vs unmarried people, as opposed to girlfriend/boyfriend vs no girlfriend/boyfriend
Reason #1: You have a better body.
I have actually begun to lose more weight. My boyfriend is a Chef, so this might prove a bit difficult
Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great things.
This was the main reason I stayed single for such a long time. I just graduated from university with 2:1, and im going onto doing an MA next year.
If my boyfriend ever gets in the way of my career or my work, its a boot for sure 😛
Reason #3: You do less housework.
True. I hate cleaning after other people.
Reason #4: You can do what you want with your money—including keep it.
I still do that 😛
But no, this is true. Certain things we have to ''share'' when it comes of ''buying''. I hate it.
Reason #5: You have better sex.
Actually, we have good sex. And very often too. Which ties well with number 1.
Its Sexercise whenever you want it. Beats gym, i guess.
Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
True regarding beign better rested. Im smart in any case. diva
Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
Well I'd sure be depressed provided I was married. Yuck.
Reason #8: You have better friendships.
I guess this applies to certain cases, but im sure its not the rule. I don't fit the statemenet either.
Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
True. Although cheating was few times on my mind. I have no concience.
Reason #10: You know yourself—and what you want out of a relationship.
And the reason I do know what I want in a relationship is because of immense dating 😄
Originally posted by tabby999
most of those are just negatives people experience because they dont maintain or work on their relationships. i'd much rather have a girlfriend than be single.
This premise is exactly why the divorce rate is so high, Tabby-no offense.
People then end up marrying each other for what? Because one's initial motive wa ssimply because they were lonely? Na-uh, bad move. They only find out later that this person was never right for them for a marriage, but perfect as a girlfriend.
Again, no offense, Tabby, because you're not the only one who thinks like this.
my 10 reasons.
1. My money goes straight into my bank acc't instead of her hands.
2. As William Wallace so brilliantly put it: FREEDOM!
3. Can go in and out whenever i feel like it when i feel it it wherever i feel like it without telling anyone or having anyone worry. That's apart of freedom, i guess.
4. I don't have to or see or know about or deal with womanly bodily functions or the items used to "help".
5. My condo's interior stays manly and pink toilet-paperless.
6. lol, i can't stand cry babies.
7. The "Big" question i'm not ready for (not yet, having to much fun.)
8. If my video games go, I go.
9. I'm allergic to lovey dovey movies. Symptoms include diarrhea, vomiting, nausea, drowsiness, headaches and even death..By Boredom!!
10. um...oh The Drama..That should'a been #1.
Originally posted by FistOfThe North
8. If my video games go, I go.
I hear this so often from people. I've never been in a relationship, with a male or a female, that has ever asked me to sacrifice something I truely enjoy and consider an important part of my life. Does this really happen? I'm sure you aren't just pulling it out of your ass, so how does someone really confront someone they "love" with a ultimatum like this? I'm serious. I just can't see anyone really loving someone for who they are and then asking them to remove some aspect of their life.