my first post in this particular forum

i've never posted here before, but i figured i'd been writing alot of songs that didn't work as songs, but made ok (i think) poems. so dont tear me a new one if you think this is shite, i havn't edited it atall, its just what i wrote... oh and sorry its so long 😮
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Happiness found in a strangers kiss,
Optimism that blows away in the breeze,
Subtlety not found in familiar territories,
Dreams that start a new but end the same,
Life that ends with no one to blame, but creation,
Diseased and quiet, no place to call their own,
Finds comfort in places that others aren’t,
And hell in new surrounding,
Nowhere to hide but inside,
Nowhere to escape but everywhere to go,
Opportunities lost thanks to a lack of cash,
People not interested because of type of entry,
People not interested because of external veneer,
Love not found because of thick shell,
Love not wanted because of expected pain,
Love wanted because of current pain,
Life not to be created because of defective creation,
If you don’t live for something you die for nothing,
And if you know your dreams are futile,
Your dead before you begin,
Game over from level one,
No more life’s in reserve, no more excuses to be made,
Inferior product, shelved and taken by whoever can be bothered,
Living with second best,
Living with something out of date and not quite right,
Existing on cheapest organisms,
Existing on the hope of life,
Living not for the moment, but for the past,
Not for the hope of a better tomorrow,
But a painless end.
Told by others how they feel and what their best options are,
While they don’t know how the person feels,
How the person hurts, what the person dreams,
Am I alive or just breathing, or is life just breathing?
Is futility just a word or an inevitability?
Is impossible just a word or a way of life?
Is hope packaged and sold to the masses,
To make them think they can grow up and become what they dreamed?
Not everyone can live their dream,
Some accept that, others don’t,
Those that do can be found, if closely looked for,
In quiet places they can call their own,
Or places they can pretend are theirs,
With a half empty bottle and a empty smile,
A down turned face and bitter glance,
Looking at those with happiness the way a man with no legs looks upon a jogger,
Or a homeless man watches a man in a suit talk to his smug companions,
Futility is a way of life, not just a word to describe wars,
Pointless is a life where dreams are bled,
Aborted like a unloved child, a f*ck up, a mistake,
Soul mates don’t exist, people find happiness in someone,
Not in a mythical unknown who shares their same spirit,
Someone who will do, not someone who is made,
Genetics defy this, show us who we really are,
Not a individual snowflake but another ape descendant,
Not a special gem, but another zirconia,
Not s phenomenal fluke of evolution, but another inferior version.
Humanity 1.0 soon to be updated,
Replaced and left obsolete, upgraded, humanity 2.0
1.0 disposed of, unwanted, no longer a thing of wonder,
But just another thing to store,
Not a thing of genius, but part of the work up to now,
Not significant, just part of the process, not a miracle, collateral damage, damaged beyond repair,
Not that the creator wants to fix, and neither does his workers,
Just the being, wishing someone cared

Love not found because of thick shell,
Love not wanted because of expected pain,
Love wanted because of current pain,

Am I alive or just breathing, or is life just breathing?

I really liked those lines. I think I found those two most....indentifiable? I dunno, I can't express what I'm feeling now into words. But I liked it 🙂

to be perfectly honest i stole "am i alive or just breathing" from Killswitch Engage but added the rest, i know its rude to rip off someone without crediting them (ok so plaugerising) so now you know i'm a word theif 😉

Well, theoretically you're not because you've just credited them, so it's all good 😄

'Life that ends with no one to blame, but creation,

If you don’t live for something you die for nothing,

Soul mates don’t exist, people find happiness in someone,
Not in a mythical unknown who shares their same spirit,'

Those lines in particular jumped out at me, they're a really effective form of expression used here. I like it, it's raw and edgy.

why thankyou 🙂 i wish the poetry comp wasn't a 20 line limit, i've got one i really like thats about 2 pages. is kind of impractical for you guys though...

I think we decided on 20 lines to see if the entrants can deal with some sort of structural boundary, if that makes sense. Sorry though 😛

Post your piece here anyway.

ah i would but i kinda went through it and made it into a shorter, more concise poem for the comp. So if i post it the idea of anonymous poems is ruined. i'll put the whole one in after the comp!

😂

I saw that, no worries though. We'll be completely unbiased (just don't do anything to annoy us before the deadline) 😛

ah so thats how you win, not by having a deep and insightfull poem but by currying the judges favour. did i mention you have pretty eyes 😉

dammit, i was going to enter this poem, somehow i've managed to confuse it with the one above, edit the wrong one and submit it...damn. well heres what SHOULD have been my entry...

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Life’s not a gift, it’s a f*cking curse,
Self improvement is masturbation, self destruction is king,
Getting told how to exist and how to be,
People who don’t know me, or know what pain is,
Pain is knowing your dreams are dead before you start,
Losing before you start is pain,
Not when you get f*cked up by a self made evil,
don’t ***** to me about your addiction, your problem,
You put the needle in your arm, not me, not them,
People worry about death, worry about the mark they leave,
But life’s no fun when you know how the story ends,
With a gun or a rope, with a knife or a pill,
Life’s hard when the only limit is your potential,
Not your bones rusting or body failing,
But you not wanting to put in what is needed,
You hear peoples problems and ask yourself,
Is it a problem or a mild annoyance?
A mountain or an inconvenience?
F*ck you and your righteous words,
As hollow as your eyes are dead,
Raining red from a thousand dreams bled,
Life is one long streak of pain,
Its not a chance to change the planet or be loved,
Its just another chance to be pissed on by those who sit so high,
Who forget the days before they were someone,
Who forgot that we all start the same,
Not everyone has the same chances,
Its not how good you are but where you sign,
Not how you are but how you present,
It means nothing if your better, if your not playing by their rules

Well, I'm glad you didn't enter that one because we did state that obscenity (no matter how well asterisked!) and vulgarity wouldn't be accepted. It's the PG-13 rule.

indeed. thats why i needed to edit it. prolly better in the end, having to remove or change words mid sentence dosn't sit well with me. then again i did butcher the poem...damn it!

Well, that's not how I meant it... it's a good piece, just not suitable for this competition. I'd much prefer it to stay the way it is, having to amend pieces is frustrating, especially if they're better the way they are.