Hulk - Sorry for beating you up but it's not really my fault. You see my father used to beat me when I was a child. I'm actually very unhappy. Can I have a hug?
Captain America - Actually, I respect Hitler a lot for what he did.
Abomination - I don't know. I think I'm kind of attractive in a Gregory Peck kind of way.
Punisher - Well I guess there isn't really any reason to kill you. Tell you what. You've learned your lesson right? How about I just give you a noogie?
daredevil: (drunk) and those n00bies thought i was blind for years
blackbolt: lockjaw, stop humping my leg
j'onn j'onnz: i am a closet ****
j'onn j'onnz: do u know what they say about guys with big foreheads?
wonderwoman: kyle can you pull out this wedgie
captain america: i refuse to pay more than $50 for this hooker. she wont even >insert degrading comment here<
wolverine: kids! never wipe ur ass (or jerk off) with your claws out
magneto: i cant believe i got so drunk that i shit in my helmet