Clerks 2 LOTR Joke

I found Clerks 2 Evaluation of LOTR very TRUE. 3 MOVIES OF WALKING...Just wanted to say YOU GUYS GOT PWNT.

You went to the bathroom during the Horse scenes again, didn't you? barker

No, I bought a LOTR toy and pissed on it..

In the theater?

Dude..

My memory sucked that night, I think it was a cosplay kid 😐

petpet

Well anyway, they didn't walk the entire movie. Gandalf rode in in the first few minutes.

PWNT. tongue_ss

Dude, the ringwraiths rode the entire time. They pwn because they're too cool to walk.

Originally posted by calvs
I found Clerks 2 Evaluation of LOTR very TRUE. 3 MOVIES OF WALKING...Just wanted to say YOU GUYS GOT PWNT.

Walking...how else do you want Frodo to get to Mount Doom? Fly?

yea clerks pwned frodo

Originally posted by stunna1773
yea clerks pwned frodo

"There's only one return and it ain't of the king it's of the Jedi"- Randall. F*cking A.

Originally posted by ESB -1138
Walking...how else do you want Frodo to get to Mount Doom? Fly?

Haha well said.

You can say that about any film that's about a journey. I would probably think it was funny when watching the film but it isn't true. God, did they not notice any of the many battle scenes?!

yeah or the boat scenes in the fellowship??

This is all quiet lame, Clerks 2 had something, then yo should enjoy it with yourself, coming to a page filled with Tolkien fans and saying this is folly if you ask me.

If you guys liked the whole LOTR scene in CLERKS II then you guys are gonna love An Evening With Kevin Smith 2 he goes into detail why he doesnt like LOTR and he does/says pretty much the exact same thing Randal did/said. Impretty much he did this before CLERKS II was out.

It's a interesting point. They do use the shoeleather express a lot. *I* didn't find it annoying enough to ruin the movie for me. I think Mr. Smith has some OCD issues, perhaps?

I loved that part od Clerks 2! Too hilarious for words! Its true as well.

Originally posted by ESB -1138
Walking...how else do you want Frodo to get to Mount Doom? Fly?

yeah, actually. Fly. Nothing was stopping an entire army of Eagles from just flying to Mount Doom in an hour or two, dropping off the ring, and flying back home.

Nine Nazgul can NOT in any way, shape, or form, take out twenty Great Eagles. And at a thousand feet none of Saurons legions of Orcs could reach the Eagles. The entire quest was a waste of time, really.

I loved the movies and the books to death though. I'm about to start reading The Silmararillion again.

Blaxican, accept that the Eagles are a Noble race and would not agree to it they are not a beast of burden they are the very messengers and servants of Manwe himself. Plus it is said of the Ring that no-one can bring themselves to do harm of if, not even Sauron himself could bear to harm it so simply "dropping it off" isnt an option.

The Ring needed to be destroyed in the Sammath Naur, so an Eagle couldn’t drop the Ring into Mount Doom while flying overhead, plus thinking of the drop, wind currents and so forth that is a VERY accurate drop and you would only get one attempt, you miss then the ring would be found and Sauron would have it again.

As such it would need to land and would then need a rider, bearing a rider would mean it had to fly lower and slower and was then vunerable to interception so it would then need an escort to aid it from attack.

A company of Eagles flying to Mount Doom bearing a Hobbit would be seen by Sauron and he knew the ring to be with a Hobbit he would soon put two and two together and when the Eagles did arrive they would find the chamber entrance well guarded if not sealed up and one single rider would not be able to fight their way through. Even if he did get inside he wouldn't be able to destroy the ruling ring, even Frodo didn't manage to do this and Tolkein tells us that no-one else would have got as far as he.

Tolkein also states The Eagles are a dangerous ’machine’. I have used them sparingly, and that is the absolute limit of their credibility or usefulness.~Letter 210

A Deus ex Machina, a plot device use to get their heros out of a tough situation or solve a problem but Tolkein uses them sparringly any more use would make them dangerous to the story.

3 movies of people walking. even the trees walk in those movies

"Right after the Sam-Frodo suckfest, and right before the credits roll,Sam flat out BRICKS in Frodo's mouth."

Lord of The Rigs ****ing sucks. "There is only 1 trilogy you ****ing morons"

"There is only 1 return,and it ain't of the King, its of the Jedi"

In conclusion:LOTR was a temporary success. It ****ing sucked overall.

STAR WARS YOU ****ERS!!