my song

i get hit by a car would u stop to cry or walk on by saying he deservied to die would u shed 1 single tear!! or walk on by yelling he deserved to die!! i dont care about u i just want to know if u would care to to sit by me while i died or would u run away saying this is my lucky day i dont care if i die i just wanted u 2 know that i hate u...... never will i once again stand by your side trying to save you when u ask why ill say becasue i hate you becasue i hate u becasue i hate u! i will never love you! if i died before your eyes would u stop for me and cry or would u be gratefull that i died what would u do if i was dead would u be happy or would u cry becasue i died right in front of ur eyes would u care that i was there right infront of u ill never be here again day by day im gone again one day soon ill be gone i hate you.........i hate u...when u ask me why ill say becasue u let me die thats why i hate you...

plz be honest on what u think rate on scale 1-10 thank you.

if* thats the first part of the song

That is not bad. Pretty deep I must say. Could you type it out again with full stops please. It would make it sound much better and easier for people to understand. If you could do that, that would be great, followed by the other parts of the song.

Thanks.

cry

die

yelling

die

died

die

hate

hate

hate

hate

died

cry

died

dead

cry

hate

hate

die

hate

problems?

I expect someone to come in and say something along the lines of "emo" ...then AC and a few others teaching them it's not Emo at all and the person refusing in on the assumption that the term has changed....sounds like good fun for a Friday evening.

Originally posted by Bardock42
I expect someone to come in and say something along the lines of "emo" ...then AC and a few others teaching them it's not Emo at all and the person refusing in on the assumption that the term has changed....sounds like good fun for a Friday evening.

for realz.

maybe if your song was typed in a way that makes it easier to read i would spend the time to read and give an opinion. but from all the hates, dies and cries it isn't lookin too good.

Originally posted by Bardock42
I expect someone to come in and say something along the lines of "emo" ...then AC and a few others teaching them it's not Emo at all and the person refusing in on the assumption that the term has changed....sounds like good fun for a Friday evening.

I think theres just a post template that we cut and paste these days explaining why emo is undefinable and "like pop and punk has changed with time." Saves AC and the lads time 😉

Oh and yeah, its is kinda emo huh.

so... do u like it or no

its a bit simplistic, just repetition. Go through, write the words (dont use 2 instead of to when writing lyrics dude) and add some substance, not just "I hate you" over and over.