Marriage Sucks
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months--I don't like to interrupt her.
In any arguement with her I always give in. What's the use? It's just my word against thousands of hers!
Did you hear about the new all-woman delivery company. It's called UPMS.They deliver your package when they darn well feel like it!
My wife ran off with my best friend..I sure do miss him!
How many women does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.