2007 Rapture?

Started by Robtard65 pages

False advertisement?

Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
I am beginning to think I wont need my rapture pants after all. 🙁

Rapture Pants: the only pants that let you look happy and comfortable as the world burns!

As an aside - am I the only one who finds that picture disturbing? Or is it accepted that during the rapture preppy clean cut people will grin like loons at the sky in front of burning Churches?

At least put some dirt on them so it doesn't like like they have just popped out from their local Bible study class. Maybe a zombie or two in the background.

Did you notice no black people in the photo? 😱

Warning:

As of 8/21/07, all sinners (aka people who haven't accepted Jesus and their one and only personal savior) have exactly one month (possibly less) to find Jesus or burn for all eternity.

People, stop lallygagging and FIND YOUR JESUS!

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Did you notice no black people in the photo? 😱

Unlike a normal person, this woman isn't going to feel like a dumbass after the summer has passed and there has been no rapture.

A normal person would admit that the was a carbon monoxide leak, or something to that extent, but I'm sure this woman will come up with some stupid reason as to why the end of the world hasn't happened.

Originally posted by Robtard

Her breasts point the way to Jesus! Hallelujah!!!

You can tell whoever drew this had fun. Only the groovy, pretty people are going to heaven.

Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
...Only the groovy, pretty people are going to heaven.

As it should be, that and *thick Scottish accent* "no blacks, no Jews".

Originally posted by Robtard
As it should be, that and *thick Scottish accent* "no blacks, no Jews".

Oh aye, aye.

28/Aug/07 and still no Rapture, however, I have not seen any Christians today. 😱

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
28/Aug/07 and still no Rapture, however, I have not seen any Christians today. 😱

Don't worry, we still have at least another 24 days... I'm curious though, which timezone do you think God is on?

Originally posted by Robtard
Don't worry, we still have at least another 24 days... I'm curious though, which timezone do you think God is on?

Universal. 😉 😆

Originally posted by Robtard
Don't worry, we still have at least another 24 days... I'm curious though, which timezone do you think God is on?

Time... Mr. Freeman? Is it really that time again?

Originally posted by AngryManatee
Time... Mr. Freeman? Is it really that time again?

Doctor Freeman, Dr. Gordon Freeman.

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
28/Aug/07 and still no Rapture, however, I have not seen any Christians today. 😱

Don't worry, I got an email from a Christian friend, so either they are mocking me from heaven, they aren't the right kind of Christian and thus got left behind, or nothing has happened.

I'd bet one of my kidneys on the third one.

Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
Don't worry, I got an email from a Christian friend, so either they are mocking me from heaven, they aren't the right kind of Christian and thus got left behind, or nothing has happened.

I'd bet one of my kidneys on the third one.

Deal! A healthy kidney can fetch up to 30k U.S.D. on the black market.

Originally posted by Robtard
Deal! A healthy kidney can fetch up to 30k U.S.D. on the black market.

Do they leave their body behind? 😕

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Do they leave their body behind? 😕

Not sure, if I recall correctly, one version has it where 'you' travel into the Heavenly City (that golden Borg Cube as predicted by JIA) and then 'your' body is transformed into an immortal body by Jesus/God.

I wonder if you're able to request upgrades? Like asking to be "reformed" with a slong like John Holmes, or a six-pack like Mark Walhberg, when he was Marky Mark and had his Funky Bunch.

Originally posted by Robtard
Not sure, if I recall correctly, one version has it where 'you' travel into the Heavenly City (that golden Borg Cube as predicted by JIA) and then 'your' body is transformed into an immortal body by Jesus/God.

I wonder if you're able to request upgrades? Like asking to be "reformed" with a slong like John Holmes, or a six-pack like Mark Walhberg, when he was Marky Mark and had his Funky Bunch.

Once they are gone, can we take their stuff? Alter all, some of the richest people in the US are Christians. 😆

HAHAHA Can't let the stuff go to waste now can we. 😄

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Once they are gone, can we take their stuff? Alter all, some of the richest people in the US are Christians. 😆

I don't see why not.

That can't be right though, didn't Jesus live a life of poverty? Shouldn't these people who "walk in the life of Jesus" do the same?