The famous Captain Jack sparrow was tired because Barbosa had trapped him once before. And he is also devastated because Elizabeth has chosen to go steal his cookies. So Jack decided to take Elizabeth's corset off and give her a bottle of Bacardi Coconut Rum to loosen her up so he could take her hostage. But He forgot she loves to drink Bacardi Coconut Rum only when she wants to seduce men in dreadlocks and eyeliner. Plus he didn't want to make Lizzie uncomfortable in bed while they decide to kiss each other all over. So he carefully poured the Coconut Bacardi Rum on top of her while she licked his fingers. Suddenly, someone knocked, which startled the homosexual pine-cone. Leading them to realize that it was a guard wearing Jack's hat on his crotch. So they took a bottle of rum and threw it at the guard. Then Pintel and Ragetti appeared flabbergasted at the sight of the Jack n Lizzie's position and kinky outfits with whipped cream on their fingers. "What the He** is going on here?" asked Ragetti. Jack just grabbed the candlestick and shrieked like a monkey, and said, " why gerbils are toilet-training Will?" Suddenly, Elizabeth threw herself out the door and landed on Pintel's hairy foot and scraped her toes. Jack ran to Elizabeth's rescue, but fell on her butt. "OOoH Jack wanna kiss LEWZMP on Nintendo with Tuna and cucumbers mixed in hamster-toilet-spices?" "No!, you need to wash Davy Jones's tentacles with baby shampoo and herbs because he smells." Ragetti smelled like a monkey. So they skewered him onto the tooth fairy while Pintel disemboweled Bill Gates with Jack the Ripper's grape-stems, decapitating him. Jack floppishly ran like a rabbit to get Roy O'Bannon's frilly, slimy, sparkly goblet of gold that was thirsty for Johnny because he is