The famous Captain Jack sparrow was tired because Barbosa had trapped him once before. And he is also devastated because Elizabeth has chosen to go steal his cookies. So Jack decided to take Elizabeth's corset off and give her a bottle of Bacardi Coconut Rum to loosen her up so he could take her hostage. But He forgot she loves to drink Bacardi Coconut Rum only when she wants to seduce men in dreadlocks and eyeliner. Plus he didn't want to make Lizzie uncomfortable in bed while they decide to kiss each other all over. So he carefully poured the Coconut Bacardi Rum on top of her while she licked his fingers. Suddenly, someone knocked, which startled the homosexual pine-cone. Leading them to realize that it was a guard wearing Jack's hat on his crotch. So they took a bottle of rum and threw it at the guard. Then Pintel and Ragetti appeared flabbergasted at the sight of the Jack n Lizzie's position and kinky outfits with whipped cream on their fingers. "What the He** is going on here?" asked Ragetti. Jack just grabbed the candlestick and shrieked like a monkey, and said, " why gerbils are toilet-training Will?" Suddenly, Elizabeth threw herself out the door and landed on Pintel's hairy foot and scraped her toes. Jack ran to Elizabeth's rescue, but fell on her butt. "OOoH Jack wanna kiss LEWZMP on Nintendo with Tuna and cucumbers mixed in hamster-toilet-spices?" "No!, you need to wash Davy Jones's tentacles with baby shampoo and herbs because he smells." Ragetti smelled like a monkey. So they skewered him onto the tooth fairy while Pintel disemboweled Bill Gates with Jack the Ripper's grape-stems, decapitating him. Jack floppishly ran like a rabbit to get Roy O'Bannon's frilly, slimy, sparkly goblet of gold that was thirsty for Johnny because he is incredibly sexxilicious. "Why waste such rare delicacy?" carefully sloshing his pancakes, Jack cut off the weenie that belonged to an unfortunate Roy O'Bannon. Alas, he strangled the life out of the crazy toucan with an elephants trunk. He then decided whether or not to cook it. Elizabeth kicked Ragetti because he had milked Roy O'Bannon's *cough*. Then her ex-boyfriend exploded into pocky because it tastes sorta tasty. So Johnny smashed the guitar on that girl who f***ed up! He then swatted his turtle with bannanas that so stabbed his gerbil. Angrily dancing through Cocotera Island with two of his finest tap-dancing coconuts, Sesshomaru stole The Flan Guy's garden hose and did dirty dances. Elizabeth yanked at him and kissed Jack passionately because it was a good idea! They rolled around the bed, then they fell onto the tub with their naked cimpanzees. Then they started to jump on their pink flamenco and rumba across the floor, realizing that Liz's feet move opposite from Jack. Elizabeth started to tap for Jack, but she failed to impress Tom Bergeron from Sleepy Hollow. Jack danced across the room doing the Rumba with two bananas' hamsters. One crashed into a gift shop making the cherries sing Kumbaya and Hallelujah which made vomit the 76 LEWZMPs that stripped down to stalk an apple within the Black Pearl. Columbian pocky-eaters ate Will Turner, because Ichy told Chon Wang that Elizabeth chopped-off Will's extra-head. When Zaphod Beeblebrox transformed into the Cheetah Girls he performed a duet with Ichabod singing Irish Jigs. Fiddler's Green alien from Camelot frolicked through France, slaying deformed Chupacabras mostly harmlessly. Chon Wang bawked, "LEWZMP has-been-reported-to-the-moderator and the-reason-eludes-me,-however dead may be Roy O'Bannon's twinky eyeball pillow-case. His DOOM scared ever-present LEWZMP, whose Sleepy Hollow-esque fears invoke-spasms of-the-pancreas due to the uncontrolable ing-urges of Doom. LEWZMP swallowed Roy O'Bannon toe-nail because it smelled funky. After raiding Port-Royal Jack-the-monkey watched 35-million robots-sing "zipi-di-doo-da-zipi-di day my oh my what a wonderful day" to-advertise the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's Disney Toilet department. Barbossa danced fuzzily