Pepper Sprayed in the Eyes by Santa Claus
Well I have this very bad little cousin, who I warn each year that to go to bed for Santa Claus arrives or he'll put pepper in his eyes.
Well my little cousin just recently discovered what Pepper Spray was by seeing it on tv and he asked if that is what Santa Claus uses on little kids who stay up late on Christmas Eve.
I told him no, he uses regular pepper that you put on food. My little cousin then sucked through his teeth and said he wasn't scarred of Santa Claus putting pepper in his eyes then and he'd be too fast for him anyways.
He then told me he'd be staying up all night to catch a glimpse at Santa Claus.
I then told him that
Spoiler:
Santa Claus didn't exist
Nah....I didn't tell him that....b/c of course THAT WOULD BE A BOLD FACE LIE CHILDREN. 😐
But yeah, after he said that I was like alright....if you say so, but remember I warned you.
So just a while ago, I left my house and walked down the street to my little cousins house and sneaked into the house through a window that I had purposefully left open when I was over there earlier.
The window I enter through puts me into the living room right behind the Christmas Tree.
As soon as I get into the house I close the window and with little thump sound and I accidentally rustle against the Christmas Tree a bit.
Low and behold what do I hear, but little foot steps scurrying down the hallway toward the living room.
I'm like "Oh Shit", I'm screwed now.
Then I hear his parents holla out of their bedroom for him to be in bed and that they better not catch him up. I then here him stop and scurrying quickly back to his room.
I'm like......*PHEW* *SIGH*....after my heart rate slows back down I proceed with my plan.
I made sure to dress in a Big Red Hoody just in case he did see me from afar in hopes he'd think I was Santa Claus, but the plan was for him to not see me anyways so.....
After I here him go back into his room and close the door, I leave from behind the Christmas Tree and silently go down the hall to his room.
Let me explain by the way that if his parents or mine knew that I was doing this I'd be in big trouble.
So as I creep down the hallway, I hear movement in his room as if he just silently rolled out of bed so that his parents wouldn't hear him.
I don't know if he's heard me or not.
So I stand still.
*D@MN!!!*
His door starts to creek open.
Where I'm positioned, he won't be able to help but to see me if he peeps out.
So I wait for the inevitable to happen. I just know he's going to peep his head out and there's nothing I can do.
He peeps his head out, but first in the direction of his parents room to see if they heard him. He's about to turn around in my direction and just as he's about to see me, I pull out my Pepper Spray.
He yells, "SANTA CLAUS!!!!"
I whisper, "SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO TO BED" and I quickly Pepper Spray him in order to blind him before he realizes that it's me.
He falls on the floor crying and thrashing around violently screaming.
I turn around and high tail it toward the living room.
All of a sudden his father, my uncle, is coming out of the Kitchen into the hallway blocking my way.
He was running to see what was wrong and then he saw me, in hopes that he couldn't recognize me in the dark with the hood over my heard I quickly Pepper Spray him.
He immediately brings his hands up to his face and eyes and rubs at them rather quickly and moaning some kind of awful and yells for his wife to call the police, who is my aunt.
I run for the living room window and I hear her down the hall yelling hysterically that someone has broken into their house and that her husband and son are in intense pain and that she doesn't know what has happened.
I'm like...."F**K THIS SH!T, I'M OUT OF THIS CAMP."
I jump out of the window and run home and here I am.
My mom just got up and left so I'm sure she's on her way over there ahora mismo.
I pretended that I was sleep so that she wouldn't expect me to come along.
So yeah.
I disposed of the Pepper Spray on the way home in a garbage can.
I hope they don't find it and check for Finger Prints.
Merry Christmas Everybody!!!!!!!!
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Anata Wa Wakarimasu Ka.....