Why Do Relationships Fail?

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Then you'd do well not to insinuate that I'm still learning as if you aren't.

Furthermore, my comments on being a doormat do not require learning, and as far as anybody suggesting "He'll learn that this is how it is.", I'd suggest those people have far more to learn than I do, if accepting possible degradation and usery in a relationship has become part of their lives.

-AC

also, "doormat" is a pretty strong term for someone who gives their significant other whatever they want.

Originally posted by debbiejo
And you like it, over and over again....Hehe. 🙄

whip

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
also, "doormat" is a pretty strong term for someone who gives their significant other whatever they want.

What term would you prefer?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
some people are farther along than others when it comes to learning about this.

And you have the right to assume I'm not far along, because I say being a doormat is not healthy in a relationship, why?

If you being a doormat is a way you keep your significant other happy, Queeq also, then have at it, do as you wish, but being a walkover, whipped and a doormat (Pick whatever term you want. They mean the same.) are not good things to be.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
"doormat" is a pretty strong term for someone who gives their significant other whatever they want.

As asked prior, what term would you prefer? If you are a walkover, you're a doormat.

It's not upstanding or macho to admit you're whipped, as if it makes a better boyfriend. It makes a more useable one. There's a big difference between being able to make your partner happy, and being such a shove-over that they can make themselves happy how they want, when they want, regardless of whether it's right or wrong.

Before you turn on the alarms, I'm aiming that at ANYONE it applies to.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
And you have the right to assume I'm not far along, because I say being a doormat is not healthy in a relationship, why?

If you being a doormat is a way you keep your significant other happy, Queeq also, then have at it, do as you wish, but being a walkover, whipped and a doormat (Pick whatever term you want. They mean the same.) are not good things to be.

As asked prior, what term would you prefer? If you are a walkover, you're a doormat.

It's not upstanding or macho to admit you're whipped, as if it makes a better boyfriend. It makes a more useable one. There's a big difference between being able to make your partner happy, and being such a shove-over that they can make themselves happy how they want, when they want, regardless of whether it's right or wrong.

Before you turn on the alarms, I'm aiming that at ANYONE it applies to.

-AC

I honestly think if a relationship fails, its because its lacking love. There might be strong feelings, but love's different than strong feelings. Love is I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I'll never get over you, you're the only one for me. If you have that, everything else can be dealt with.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
i say this because from your posts, i see nothing resembling any understanding on how to be in a relationship. i know a few things, and i am learning new ones every day. if you judge me on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 having no understanding whatsoever, and 10 being a relationship master, i would say i am about a 3.

Let's make sense out of this.

You judge my relationship knowledge...on my KMC posts? Did it not occur to you that not all of us feel the need, every day, to remind everyone "Hey, I have a girlfriend."? You're not the only guy on here in a relationship, and it doesn't make you more understanding or knowledgeable than me simply because you don't see a lot in my posts.

You're happy in your relationship to the point that you feel the need to always bring it up, that's fine by me, congrats and I mean that, but don't assume that me, or anyone, not doing the same, means that we lack understanding.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
being a doormat points towards your partner walking all over you. this is not the case. there are actually some times when it would seem, to a casual observer, that she is whipped. it's 50/50, give and take. sometimes she is needy, and vice versa.

Then fair play to you, you gave off an entirely different vibe previously.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
i prefer the term "extremely devoted." 😂

being a doormat or a shove over again points towards one walking all over the other. as i have said before, this is not the case. you are right, there is a big difference between making your partner happy and being a shove over. i am neither a shove over, a doormat, or expendable in any way, shape or form. you keep assuming these things, then stating them as if they are fact. why is that?

I'm not stating them as if they are fact at all, but like you, I'm going by what I get out of your posts, and you DO pack your posts with a considerable amount of info regarding your relationship. A lot more than is really necessary in any random GDF thread, and you have off a vibe.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. It appears I am, but I was just going by the vibe you gave off.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Let's make sense out of this.

You judge my relationship knowledge...on my KMC posts? Did it not occur to you that not all of us feel the need, every day, to remind everyone "Hey, I have a girlfriend."? You're not the only guy on here in a relationship, and it doesn't make you more understanding or knowledgeable than me simply because you don't see a lot in my posts.

You're happy in your relationship to the point that you feel the need to always bring it up, that's fine by me, congrats and I mean that, but don't assume that me, or anyone, not doing the same, means that we lack understanding.

I'm not stating them as if they are fact at all, but like you, I'm going by what I get out of your posts, and you DO pack your posts with a considerable amount of info regarding your relationship. A lot more than is really necessary in any random GDF thread, and you have off a vibe.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. It appears I am, but I was just going by the vibe you gave off.

-AC

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
ok, it's not like i go around bragging, it's just that i say what i would do in a given situation if something came up. i could use the "universal we", but i choose not to. it's easier that way.

No, I am aware you don't go around "bragging", but you do feel the need to constantly, intentionally or otherwise, remind everybody that you are with someone, which proves a point I made, and will reiterate soon.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
i was talking about you and only you. and that is the "vibe" i get from you. maybe i am wrong.

That's a cop-out though, because I never mention my personal life on here, so what you "get" out of it is nowhere near enough to make the claim you did, where as I have a greater knowledge of your relationship than you have of anything I might have going on in my personal life. How? Because you constantly say things that, all things considered, aren't really relevant to some of the threads you're posting in. I think everyone here knows a bit about your relationship because you mention it so much, you do give off a vibe.

It's entirely possible I got it wrong, but hey, you were the one saying you were whipped, and have alluded to it before. I've never said anything of the sort, so you had nothing to go by.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
vibes are a funny thing. they can e very misleading alot of the time.

Depends how good you are at paying attention to detail.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
No, I am aware you don't go around "bragging", but you do feel the need to constantly, intentionally or otherwise, remind everybody that you are with someone, which proves a point I made, and will reiterate soon.

That's a cop-out though, because I never mention my personal life on here, so what you "get" out of it is nowhere near enough to make the claim you did, where as I have a greater knowledge of your relationship than you have of anything I might have going on in my personal life. How? Because you constantly say things that, all things considered, aren't really relevant to some of the threads you're posting in. I think everyone here knows a bit about your relationship because you mention it so much, you do give off a vibe.

It's entirely possible I got it wrong, but hey, you were the one saying you were whipped, and have alluded to it before. I've never said anything of the sort, so you had nothing to go by.

Depends how good you are at paying attention to detail.

-AC

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
no, you rarely if ever mention your personal life on here, so your posts are all we have to go by. as far as i know, in real life, you might be a totally different person. that's giving off a vibe. we all give off vibes here. i could mention a certain someone whose pics are....how shall i say this.....COUGHmaybefakeCOUGH.....that person gives off a vibe too. name one person here who doesn't give off a vibe. what we say and what we do here determines what other members think of us.

Or...here's a radical suggestion; Seeing as you know nothing of my personal life, why not...stop using posts to go by? I may reference my personal life here from time to time, but nothing in that area, because it's nobody's business, so instead of using posts I make regarding relationships to judge, wrongly, about my personal life, don't do so. Don't assume I am somehow lacking compared to you, because you disagree with my views on relationships.

Everyone gives off a vibe, genuine or not, but the one you claimed I give off, it's not possible, since A) I don't speak about my relationships here, no need to, and B) Why on Earth would me saying "Being whipped or a doormat, is bad.", mean that I need to "learn" anything in the first place? If you believe being such a thing is good, maybe I'm not the one who needs to learn.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
being "whipped" could have different meanings. you are going with "he is a doormat, she walks all over him." this is inaccurate. with me, it is pretty much being head over heels in love, not wanting anyone else. hell, if Halle Berry wanted a one nighter with me, and i knew i could get away with it, i would decline. sure, she wouldn't know, but i would know.

See, there again. We get it RJ, we really do. You're with a lady, you're in love, yes, we understand. You didn't even need to add that additional part, but again, you felt some strange need to affirm your relationship publically.

I never said YOU, I said you give off the impression of it, since you spoke in FAVOUR of such doormat-esque actions.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
i'll keep that in mind. 😉

It would be the first time.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Or...here's a radical suggestion; Seeing as you know nothing of my personal life, why not...stop using posts to go by? I may reference my personal life here from time to time, but nothing in that area, because it's nobody's business, so instead of using posts I make regarding relationships to judge, wrongly, about my personal life, don't do so. Don't assume I am somehow lacking compared to you, because you disagree with my views on relationships.

Everyone gives off a vibe, genuine or not, but the one you claimed I give off, it's not possible, since A) I don't speak about my relationships here, no need to, and B) Why on Earth would me saying "Being whipped or a doormat, is bad.", mean that I need to "learn" anything in the first place? If you believe being such a thing is good, maybe I'm not the one who needs to learn.

See, there again. We get it RJ, we really do. You're with a lady, you're in love, yes, we understand. You didn't even need to add that additional part, but again, you felt some strange need to affirm your relationship publically.

It would be the first time.

-AC

Dipping in the kool-aid for a brief moment...

seems to me that there are 2 ways one can discuss an issue in a thread..

1.give an opinion based on their education with or without examples known

2. use life examples you have experience in...

Either are fine ways of contributing and I dont see the big deal in using personal life examples in discussing the issue.

Pretty sure this didnt help 😖.. just wanted to give my opinion.

Originally posted by Shelbert Lemon
Dipping in the kool-aid for a brief moment...

seems to me that there are 2 ways one can discuss an issue in a thread..

1.give an opinion based on their education with or without examples known

2. use life examples you have experience in...

Either are fine ways of contributing and I dont see the big deal in using personal life examples in discussing the issue.

Pretty sure this didnt help 😖.. just wanted to give my opinion.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
if someone here is a constant troll, or acts like an ass all the time, what are you going to think of them? you are going to think they are an ass. yes, i am afraid what we do and say here affects others opinions of us. when someone says nothing of their personal life, others are going to use said person's posts to formulate an opinion of them. it may be wrong, it may be dead on. but it's all they have to work with.

Yes, because that's an assy thing to do, and it's obvious if it's intended trolling.

You are judging something that you know absolutely nothing of, based on posts that honestly convey next to nothing about that which you are judging.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
do i need to post a smiley every time i make a joke? as far as needing to learn, i am falling back on my earlier comment on how we are always learning, up until we die.

No, you don't, you say you're joking, fine.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
you keep calling me a doormat. i am merely explaining how things are. i am not affirming anything, nor am i publicly decreeing my love for her. if i called you a commie pinko cross dressing taliban commando, would you accept it, or would you say "no, i am not really any of those things?"

I'm not calling you a doormat, I implied you might be one because you posted in such a way.

-AC

i can see why you say i "might" be one. but i assure you i am not. just as you assure me that you are not clueless when it comes to women. i take you on your word.

The point, which you still seem to be missing, yet insisting upon, is that you have nothing to go by, so you shouldn't be going by anything.

I had reason to believe what I did, though I am apparently wrong about it.

-AC

i am not missing it, i see your point. i just happen to disagree with it. seems that you are not seeing mine.

It's quite a fact that you have nothing to judge my relationships on, from my posts on KMC.

It's quite a fact that due to you broadcasting yours, I had reason to believe what I did. I had comments from you, regarding your relationship.

You had my opinions on being a doormat, with which you made the sweeping generalisation of: "He doesn't know much about being in a relationship.".

-AC

there you go again with me broadcasting my relationship. time and time again i tell you i was not broadcasting, and time and time again you fall back to the same old argument.