Originally posted by Akira99
I found believe it or not John Gray's Men are From Mars Women Are From Venus to give me pretty good scope why relationships fail.
I highly recommend you read it. Note that it is about relationships that are happening rather than how to start relationships.
I found the most interesting parts to be the 12 types of love and how some types of love are more important for each sex and when all are considered can make relationships SIGNIFICANTLY sturdier and infallible to failure. If I remember correctly:
[Both sexes need all 12 types of love ultimately]
Women's 6 primary love needs:
1] Caring : Man shows interest in woman's feelings and concern for her well-being [Women begin to trust him more and she becomes more open and receptive]
2] Understanding : Man listens with out judgement but with empathy when she expresses her feelings and she feels heard and understood [Then is is easier for woman to reciprocate by giving him acceptance]
3] Respect : Man prioritizes her needs, wishes and considers her thoughst and feelings [esp. flowers, remembering events] [If respected it is easier for her to appreciate him]
4] Devotion : Man makes her feel adored and special - more important than his other occupations [If she feels like she is No.1 in his life she admires him]
5] Validation : Man accepts and confirms validity of her feelings - giving her the right to feel the way she does [Woman wants to give him approval]
6] Reassurace : Man repeatedly shows he cares, understands and respects and validates and is devoted to her she will feel she is continually loved
Men's Primary Love Needs
1] Trust : Woman's attitude is open and receptive. She believes he is doing his best and wants best for her. If shes shows positive faith in her man's abilities he feels trusted and thus VERY loved [He is then more caring to her feelings and needs]
2] Acceptance : Woman lovingly recieves man without trying to change him and affirms he is being favourably recieved. Not that she thinks he is perfect but simply that she is not trying to improve him - she trusts him to improve himself [Man feels accepted finds it easier to listen and give her understanding]
3] Appreciation : Woman acknowledges recieved personal benefit and value from man's efforts and behaviour. man knows his effort is not wasted and is thus encouraged to give more [Appreciated man automatically empowered and motivated to respect her more]
4] Admiration : Man feels woman's admiration. Woman regards him with wonder, delight and when she is happily amazed by his unique characteristics e.g. humour, strength, integrity etc. [and all the other dozens of things women look for in men] [Admired man feels secure enough to devote himself to her and adore her]
5] Approval : Woman's approving attitude acknowledges the goodness in a man and expresses overall satisfaction with him [not necessarily agreeing with him] - trying to recognise the good things and reasons he does rather than bad [Approved man easily validates woman's feelings]
6] Encouragement : Woman's encouraging attitude gives hope, courage to a man - expresses confidence in his abilities and character. When women express trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval it encourages a man to be best he can be [and is the best way to improve a man] [Man who feels encouraged is motivated to give her loving reassurance]
If kids were taught in school about these things it would help the sexes really understand each other and quench the thirst to attack the opposite sex. Relationships are about reciprocating imoI highly recommend the book. Next step is to get partner to read it
And relationships fail for a number of reasons:
- lack of communication.
- trust issues.
- afraid of commitment.
- selfishness.
- intolerance.
- compatibility issues.
- life obstacles.
But, you know what they say: Everything happens for a reason.
Originally posted by Bicnarok
Intolerance
Well, a relationship can not be too good if you really have to tolerate your partner, right? I think that would be too much of a burden, and then it's easy to understand that one ends it..
Rogue, I wouldn't have beaten the guy up anyway 😂 except he knew about her and you, that'd make him a moron.
That's the kind of ending I never want to experience. It makes everything before absolutely worthless o.O.. And I'd feel really dumb putting my trust in a girl like that.
"Girl like that" sounds nasty. Boys can be like that, too, sure.
Originally posted by eezy45i was drunk. if it's any consolation, i won the fight. lost the girl, but won the fight. 😉
Well, a relationship can not be too good if you really have to tolerate your partner, right? I think that would be too much of a burden, and then it's easy to understand that one ends it..Rogue, I wouldn't have beaten the guy up anyway 😂 except he knew about her and you, that'd make him a moron.
That's the kind of ending I never want to experience. It makes everything before absolutely worthless o.O.. And I'd feel really dumb putting my trust in a girl like that.
"Girl like that" sounds nasty. Boys can be like that, too, sure.
Relationships can fail for numerous reasons. As some of you have stated, Lack of communication and intolerance, but some people start relationships that are destined to shipwreck. To avoid a bad relationship, don't start one with the girl down the street because she has huge melons and junk in the trunk. That's the kind of relationship that you only see work out on television. I believe you should try to find people that you can connect with. Actually get out and mingle... don't call Mama Cleo or resort to a Ouji board when signs seem to fail. And if you notice a relationship starting to fall apart at the seams try a counselor, use the tools for a succesful marriage -Yes, I said marriage-, you'll find they work wonders. Also try to rekindle the flame in relationship. Remember why you and the person first made a connection. Take him/her to the first spot you ever dated. All in all, relationships fail because of a dead fire... spark it up and watch it blaze!