pirate poem for class

My assignment is to write a poem about an obsession I have, and as of right now, my obsession is pirates. Will you tell me if this is any good and really makes you feel like it is an obsession of mine? I welcome any and all suggestions.

“Under the Black Flag’s Spell”

To hear the waves whoosh
and waves of wind rush by
amid clangs of bottles
of syrupy rum.
To learn more than one way to tie more than on knot
as the grinding, rubbing rope
consumes the hands with calluses

Anne Bonney
William Dampier
Calico Jack
Mary Read
Henry Morgan
Bartholomew Roberts
James Cook
Francis Drake
Insert name here?

It hurts to be marooned, landlocked,
while longing for wet salt.
Longing to see the porpoise fins
on the way to Portobello

To listen to the sweet unfolding of
roughened paper charts
covered in rolling white veins from use.
To hear the call of adventure
while unsheathing my cutlass
as blood-curdling as a hanging

It hurts to have no eye patch
yet unable to find Tortuga.
Realizing no one cares what the difference is
between buccaneer and corsair

I’ve been shanghaied to their world
And no one can buy me back.

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i loved it!

Omg U sold me at the Title....this poem is so great!!!....im assuming it has something to do with Jack being in Davy's Locker yerning to be alive in the World....or at least thats what i got from it! lol.....But i absolutely Loved it!!! Great Job Willo! 😄

A++

SO ****ING AWESOME!!!!!!! the title was so great! i really loved the part where you had all the pirate names and then insert name here?. that was so cool! Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 😄 ✅

Thanks. No suggestions for improvement? PirateDiva, I really wasn't trying to make it about POTC, but I'm so glad you interpreted it a different way than I did. I love that when that happens because it makes the poem/story able to transcend personality and taste differences. I really am not a fan of poetry, so I was hoping people would think it was okay Thanks a lot!

Lol...i figured u werent trying to make it potc...lol...cause u mentioned actual Pirate Names and not from the movie....but i still saw it as something Jack would say...lol! Open for Interpretaion! 😄

Lol, Jack is obsessed with the pirate life, too. I read it over and it does fit him very well.

Dudes! I have to critique someone else's poem, and it mentions POTC! I wrote a poem not long ago about how much I love to play the piano and hers is about playing the piano too, so I'm really overcome with the similarities. I think we should invite this girl to join the board. I have her permission to post her poem, so here it is.

Rhythm
by Kylie

"I flirt with ivory and sable
my fingers quest for keys
like Alice after her white rabbit
and Barbossa his cursed Aztec gold."

I won't write the rest because that has to be a copyright violation or something, but I thought that was really neat.

i love it! so good, I actually like that you put all the names of real pirates and something about rum!

Man, rum is so good. I had to include it!

WOW!!! You're really good willo and yeah that poem u posted from that girl Kylie was awesome too! you should invite her on here!!!

I loved how u mentioned the girl pirates as well. and RUM!!

omg...that poem was AWESOME!!

i really loved it 🙂 brilliant...and it does fit jack really well....but the last 2 lines really struck me as something liz would say...

I’ve been shanghaied to their world
And no one can buy me back.

but OMG...i luved it!! lol

^^ I like it Savvychick....i can see Liz saying that too! but she wasnt really shangihied, was she?

well....not really

but sort of, since she was captured by the Pintel and Ragetti at first, and forced to stay aboard by Barbossa...so technically yes

I did think of Liz as I wrote those last two lines. I just wanted to use "shanghai" because it's cool.

We talked about her poem in class today and most everyone liked it and liked the reference to Barbossa. "You have the extended metaphor of music being like an adventure or quest and you give us a classic example with Alice, and then a contemporary one we can all relate to."

So people can relate to POTC.

Cute!! I really like it...

Thanks. The teacher really liked it, too. She said it had a lot of fresh images and she could see why it would be such a good obsession. She then started talking about how she was "dragged" to the premiere of DMC and she didn't think she would be able to get in, but she did and she loved it AND she mentioned how much she loves "Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley together in it."

I love your poem, that was really good.

Originally posted by willofthewisp
Man, rum is so good. I had to include it!

here, here. 🙂 i love the word shanghai as well.

the poem was really beautiful... i liked how it felt free, the pacing was good. i really, really enjoyed it. i know what a fabulous writer you are, but you are truly the jack of all trades there! 🙂 brilliant.

for the record, the 'calico jack' line was savory... oh anything JACK!!! hahaha

willofthewisp,
Your poem was great and very powerful imagery.