Uni-Powered Polar Bear vs. ??? (Digi, two or three threads is NOT a trend!!!) (Yet)

Ok, so, some of you might randomly assume this is silly, but is in fact completley serious. I genuinley want to know who is the weakest character that could take a Polar Bear with the Uni-Power?

In advance, for those of you who will ramble on about junk concerning gibberish about how a polar bear/animal/non-powered human/etc. can't be Captian Universe, stop. We all know you're secretly racist against the bears. Now leave the thread.

Which Polar Bear, you wonder? Why, I'm glad you asked.

Our specific specimen for reference will be:

"The largest polar bear on record was shot in Kotzebue Sound, Alaska, in 1960. According to Guinness World Records 2006, this bear weighed an estimated 580 kg (1960 lb) and was 3.38 m (11 ft 11 in) tall when mounted."

The battlefield is in Alaska. The bear starts off at the place where he was shot, and the opponent starts 5 miles away.

They both are bloodlusted.

The opponent only gets his powers, and a really big club, to fight the bear.

So whats the weakest being that can take Captain Uni-Bear?

Logic tells us that repeating a joke should make it more funny than the last time it was told.

Oddly, physics has proven it works in quite the opposite fashion.

It wasnt a joke the first time.

And it isnt this time.

Its fun, its goofy, but I'm not making it to be a comedian.
I'd still like an answer.

And, out of curiosity, why would logic tell us that repeating a joke make it funnier?

At least, if you're repeating it to those who heard it, wouldn't it just degrade the value of the "joke"?

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
Ok, so, some of you might randomly assume this is silly, but is in fact completley serious. I genuinley want to know who is the weakest character that could take a Polar Bear with the Uni-Power?

In advance, for those of you who will ramble on about junk concerning gibberish about how a polar bear/animal/non-powered human/etc. can't be Captian Universe, stop. We all know you're secretly racist against the bears. Now leave the thread.

Which Polar Bear, you wonder? Why, I'm glad you asked.

Our specific specimen for reference will be:

"The largest polar bear on record was shot in Kotzebue Sound, Alaska, in 1960. According to Guinness World Records 2006, this bear weighed an estimated 580 kg (1960 lb) and was 3.38 m (11 ft 11 in) tall when mounted."

The battlefield is in Alaska. The bear starts off at the place where he was shot, and the opponent starts 5 miles away.

They both are bloodlusted.

The opponent only gets his powers, and a really big club, to fight the bear.

So whats the weakest being that can take Captain Uni-Bear?

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
Logic tells us that repeating a joke should make it more funny than the last time it was told.

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
And, out of curiosity, why would logic tell us that repeating a joke make it funnier?

At least, if you're repeating it to those who heard it, wouldn't it just degrade the value of the "joke"?

Originally posted by Badabing
Your bear fetish is becoming disturbing. 😖

And, before anyone gets mad at me again, how WOULD Uni-Power work on a being of such low intelligence?

I mean.... would it even understand flight? Certainly not telekinesis or x-ray vision.

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
Oh, boo. It's not a fetish. I was bored. Go suck a lemon, Bada. Because if I give you a worse insult, I won't be very smurphy.

And, before anyone gets mad at me again, how WOULD Uni-Power work on a being of such low intelligence?

I mean.... would it even understand flight? Certainly not telekinesis or x-ray vision.

🤨

😑

😒

😠

Who was mad at you? I guess if the Uni-Power is sentient then the Polar Bear would be capable of wielding the power.

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
Oh, boo. It's not a fetish. I was bored. Go suck a lemon, Bada. I'd give you a worse insult, but then I wouldn't be being very smurphy.

And, before anyone gets mad at me again, how WOULD Uni-Power work on a being of such low intelligence?

I mean.... would it even understand flight? Certainly not telekinesis or x-ray vision.

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
Stop making me pick apart my own sarcasm!

😂

I understood it was sarcasm, but I didn't get the logic behind it.

Anyways, Swanky... go be oddly sarcastic somewhere else. Nobody's yet given me an answer, which just means eventually Digi will come along, all brave and mighty, here to save the day. He'll close the thread, tell me to cut it out, and we'll all move on with our lives.

Thus is the natural cycle of nature.

Until then...

Does anybody know how this would work?

Just watch, one day this will happen in a comic, and there will be a dozen threads just like this, and people will have legitamate discussion. I'm just a poor entrepreneur of a Smurf, my brilliance not yet ready to be accepted my the olden age society that is KMC.

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
Nobody's given an answer, which just means eventually Digi will come along, all brave an mighty, here to save the day.

Originally posted by Badabing
I guess if the Uni-Power is sentient then the Polar Bear would be capable of wielding the power.

Originally posted by Badabing
Open your eyes. 🙄

Yeah, I know. I started writing, went, got a drink, finished writing, and you guys had posted.

I was gonna edit my post... but suffice to say, "oops."

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
Yeah, I know. I started writing, went, got a drink, finished writing, and you guys had posted.

I was gonna edit my post... but suffice to say, "oops."

😛
Well, what did you think of my thoughts on Captain Universe...eh...um...Polar Bear.

Aunt May.

Originally posted by Badabing
You're drinking! 😱

😛
Well, what did you think of my thoughts on Captain Universe...eh...um...Polar Bear.

Only an alcoholic would think that the word "drink" automatically meant a beer/booze/vodka. ermmnone

Well, does CU always completely overpower the host? Or would he still have urges to visit the seal's fishing hole a lunchtime?

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
Only an alcoholic would think that the word "drink" automatically meant a beer/booze/vodka. ermmnone

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph

Well, does CU always completely overpower the host? Or would he still have urges to visit the seal's fishing hole a lunchtime?

Originally posted by Badabing

I think in this case the Uni Power would control the Polar Bear but a tasty seal or fish couldn't hurt if it was hungry.

hmm

Thus making the bear that much harder to beat.

Obviously the bear wouldnt be as poerful as Uni-Spiderman, for instance, but its still a fair threat.

I'd judge that you'd need someone at least Monet St. Croix level to match him...

Originally posted by SpunkySmurph
In advance, for those of you who will ramble on about junk concerning gibberish about how a polar bear/animal/non-powered human/etc. can't be Captian Universe, stop. We all know you're secretly racist against the bears. Now leave the thread.

😖hifty:

Wendigo wins

Wendigo?