10 Reasons Beer Is Better Than Religion

Started by Corran4 pages

10 Reasons Beer Is Better Than Religion

1. If you have a beer, you don't go around door to door trying to give it to someone else.

2. You can prove that you have a beer.

3. It is against the law to offer beer to little children who are not old enough to think for themselves.

4. Nobody has ever been hanged, tortured, or burned at the stake over his particular brand of beer.

5. If you have a beer, you don't have to wait over 2000 years for another one.

6. There are many laws that make them print the truth on beer labels.

7. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

8. Beer does not tell you when or how to have sex.

9. There have been virtually no major wars fought over beer.

10. If you have devoted your entire life to beer, there are groups you can join to help you stop!

I like neither of them

Well who'd want to stop drinking?

Crazy fools.

😄😄😄😄😄

I`d like all of them

2. You can prove that you have a beer.
not if you have a Budweiser in your hand

pwah...crap

THat is indeed what Budweiser is. Watered down of course.

What Mah said

🙄 I don't see the correlation b/t the subjects....

If you have a beer, you don't go around door to door trying to give it to someone else.
1. *smirk* That's depends on whether you can profit from it. Beer solicitation is very common for businesses to practice, whether it is business-to-business or directly to the consumer. Another point to this is you don't have to go door-to-door when you can be invited or "crash" the sanctuary/beer party.

You can prove that you have a beer.
2. By what, sight? Taste? Touch? What about air? You can't see it or touch it, yet you "know" it's there. Taste, feeling, and smell are all results of particle matter from other sources such as sand, dust, man made materials, and water

It is against the law to offer beer to little children who are not old enough to think for themselves.
3. Alcohol consumption age is relative according to law. Many religions are taught the same way. Depending on where you live it can be from non-existent law (zero) to 25 years old. Most American children start drinking at age 11. Beer is the easiest to come by.

Nobody has ever been hanged, tortured, or burned at the stake over his particular brand of beer.
4. If you're looking for a martyr, pay attention. From creation, to prohibition in the early 1900's, to today, people have given their lives for beer. Humanity has stolen, murdered, committed adultery and gluttony, lied, lusted, coveted, you name it, done pretty much everything as a result of it. People have been burned at the stake, tortured, and hanged over what type of beer they've stolen/preferred or sold. Do you think the shopkeeper would have shot that guy if he had stolen a 6-pack of Coors instead of the German import? It's about greed.

If you have a beer, you don't have to wait over 2000 years for another one.
5. Depends on whether that beer killed you from alcohol poisoning or an auto accident. Who said all religions were based on 2000 years?

There are many laws that make them print the truth on beer labels.
6. Does the beer necessarily have a label? Is it homemade? Is it tap? Even if it is printed there, it's only a half-truth. The Surgeon General or Government doesn't make you print the same thing on every can or bottle. A half-truth is the same as a lie in most religions.

No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
7. According to many religions' laws, killing in any form, whether in anger or to benefit the practice is prohibited. How can those who kill in the name of a religion which holds this belief be trusted as a true model of that practice? Do I need to mention drunk driving? How many people have died that weren't drinking? Millions.

Beer does not tell you when or how to have sex.
8. Some religions are all about sex. Some are free-love, some are restrictive. If the focus is Christianity, Catholicism is just a part of a massive religion which has many other denominations that believe in unrestricted (with the exception of marriage) sex.

There have been virtually no major wars fought over beer.
9. Beer has been to "virtually" every war that has existed. And it has been the cause of the loss of many battles. How many "minor" wars has beer started? Once again...millions.

If you have devoted your entire life to beer, there are groups you can join to help you stop!
10. In almost every mid to major city exists what is called a Deprogramming Center. These places specialize in removing religious or cultic teachings from individuals. Many of these centers hold regular group meetings. Why would you want to stop drinking beer? Is it wrong? I taste a contradiction.

Why can't we just have religion and beer? All most religions are asking is moderation. Even the Bible never says it's wrong to drink, just to get drunk. Better stay away from Islam...

what tex said.

lol I agree with finti and queeq about bud

Watch yourself Jayride, I don't like anyone knocking the mighty beer.

Whar sort of freak can't touch air? You can touch it all the time! As much as you can touch the materials you list you can touch air.

But in any case, Jayride wins today's 'No humour' award... always a depressing thing to see people who can be bothered to pick apart humourous lists like that as if they were actually serious studies!

What the hell?

I agree with ush, it's over analyzing it can be funny, when done at the right time, but it can't always be like that

Pssh! It doesn't bother me if you drink beer. All my friends and family do. I personally don't enjoy alcohol of any type. Oh well. I was just looking for a reason to vent on something and use my mind in other ways than dreaming of running over my brother in law with a dump truck. He's such a bastard! Anyway the thread just annoyed me a little, which in turn set me off again and brought on a whole can of typed whoop-ass.

Have a nice day.

Why can't we just have religion and beer
what you meaning to say beer aint religion???????? 😕

people picking apart the humor lists are the only reason those threads aren't dull!