Originally posted by Nellinator
Well you said that you gave him another chance. That implies that it was his fault last time as well. People who mess with your heart don't deserve another chance.
This is what happened:
I contacted him....after two years of not speaking. I was in a really, really, good and peaceful mood...something I hardly experience.
I contacted him to ask him how his life was, and how he was doing. No matter what, he was a major part of my life, and I used to love him.
I just wanted to know how he was...he said he was okay, but was single, and still had feelings for me...
THAT is what changed everything....
He told me that he missed me, and wanted to start again, because I was supposedly the only person who cared deeply about him...u know...romantic manipulation....
ne ways, he ****ed me over, and now i remember why we split...he has a tendency to abandon those he "loves".
I just dont understand why he had to lead me on...if all he wanted was sex, i would have just as easily given it to him without the attachment...but he gave me the impression that he wanted more.
I crave Love..I want to be in Love...I havent Loved in years....I am a hopeless romantic....a horny romantic, but romantic nonetheless....so I fell for it.
I hope he's okay...he has a problem....i dont know what it is, but I still care for him. I dont need him in my life, but i hope whatever it is, he finds it and is happy.
Originally posted by Nellinator
Secondly, you were "ready to fall in love". That's a bad state of mind to be in because that is setting yourself up for failure. Falling into love generally means that you created unrealistic expectations by elevating the person in your mind to a place where they are beyond fault. But, when their faults become obvious you get the situation you are in now. It is one of the biggest problems I see, young married couples who "fell in love" and then crash and burn in their relationships when things get tough and aren't as perfect as they thought they would be. Love is a committment that you choose, not one that you should be falling into. That way, you acknowledge that there are going to be tough times and realize the faults in the other person, but are willing to work through them. That is why love should be decided mutually, not coming from one person to the other.
I agree with you 100% Nellinator.
I wanted to Love him...I wanted him to Love me...I had a dream that I wanted to live out. A dream where I am with someone who loves me beyond all, and where I love him just as much...that would be my personal Heaven....nothing else would measure that.
I am a hopeless romantic, and even though you guys think i am a ****, because i have slept around, u dont know the real me...
I mess around not so much out of lust, but out of loneliness. When I have sex or do sexual acts, it makes me feel wanted, desired, and loved....even when I know there is no love involved.
I know i am not alone, and i know there are people who love me now and will always love me, but it feels sometimes like no one gives a shit about me....like no one understands me.... i sometimes, even in a crowd of loved ones, feel extremely alone.....
Originally posted by Nellinator
All that said, I have yet to live by it myself. I know exactly how you feel. We humans do these stupid things all the time for some odd reason.
It's part of Life, and I am much wiser now than I was before. I am not heartbroken. I've had 3 heartbreaks my entire life, and i dont need to waste my time mourning over a person who used me.
Thanks Nellinator for your perspective. It was very compassionate, non biased, reasonable, and sincere.
I never imagined a conservative christian would speak to me the way you do, you did not even mention the word "sin" once lol
Thank you for that....it gives me hope, that even those with opposite beleifs will understand me.